two7zero3

Monday, April 10, 2006

this post is confunding. don't bother with it.
sunday passed. and i ask myself what have i achieved today?
nothing. thats the probable answer.
din do anything today.
been slacking around yet again. maybe i've juz gotten too slack thru those hols. and i fear i may nvr be able to start up again. revive myself. find that wily mugger that blends in so easily with the background. pardon the pun.
wang chen mo ji. everytime i come across this chen yu. which has been quite often in chinese class...i ask myself. is that really what i want to become?
i guess this is what they call stress. the pressures of the surroundings. the environment. peers. friends. everyone around. that forces me to think. reflect. and ask myself what have i been doing.all along i've been telling myself i don't really get stressed. my parents are great. supportive of whatever i do. at least they try to understand most of the time. some people get it worse i guess. with parents hounding them pushing them to excel.
excel? excellence. is that all we live for?
all our parents want us to have better lives than they had. i respect their good intentions. but, the stress that comes along for those who suffer under this. i wonder how they manage.
i'm lucky i guess.
but as all humans are. the pressure is building up. doing something against the flow is...not easy. hahas. i make slacking sound so noble ..but yah...thats what it is. something that not many are doing. people working hard....pushing themselves for whatever goals they aim to achieve. i look at them and wonder. whats with the push yourself attitude. others won't sleep till they've finish what they set out to do. me? i do what i can. the rest is up to tomorrow. hahas. maybe thats why stress dosen't work so well on me.
don't break under pressure...bend with it. i dun seem to be doing either. i'm juz floating there. being squeezed.
but again i wonder. is it really external pressure. or is it just myself? am i stressing myself too much?
i don't know...
what a senseless post this has been. yet another wandering mind .
hahas.
randoming again

i miss those days.
i din cherish them
i miss that smile
i nvr realized
i miss the laughter
i can't go back
can i?

and guess what. i haven't started on my pi.


ticktick # 1:57 PM