Thursday, June 23, 2011
from everything.
just me myself and the road.
but the rain pours.
and the thunder rips the sky.
so still i sit here.
running around in my own mind.
nor black.
but in between.
no it was not the grey area.
(and you say until the hougang one so nice. i want to try it someday)
"They really put you through it, didn't they?" said Charles.
"You have no idea," said Artus. "They claimed it was 'knightly training', but I think it was mostly to keep me out of the way when they didn't need any work done."
"Why do you call it a Wishing Well?" asked John. "Was is magic of some sort?"
"No," said Artus. "I just call it that because I spent most of my time in it wishing I as someplace else."
-Here There Be Dragons
hahahahahahahaahhaha!
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago
sat on its perch.
and tried fluttering its wings about.
wanting to fly.
but it didn't.
it couldn't.
it was stuck.
it wanted to be like the other birds!
free.
but it wasn't.
for this little bird was different.
it wasn't made of the same stuff as other birds.
wood was its wings. wood was its beak.
and its wings only moved when the wind came along.
it is impossible for something to be both true and untrue.
it is always either. or.
so a half truth doesn't exist.
you either believe or you don't.
hm.
the problems WILL still be there.
but the attitude you have toward it is no longer the same.
say NO. when you have to. prioritize.
like.
say no to betting for popcorn.
apparently i had not posted it.
well then again it looks incomplete. and thats probably why.
but its going up anyway.
as a side note.
the blog has made its way past its 500th post.
yayyy.
-.-
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6S5caRGpK4
starring that guy from himym again.
warning! this is abit more crude than the other one.
so you might not like it.
FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT. once more.
maybe this post won't be as entertaining as the last few.
maybe it will.
you wouldn't know till you get to the end of this thing.
and between now and then i'll try my best to remind you.
of the fact that i AM a t-shirt.
and yes if you haven't noticed i have already started on that.
=)
awesome.
annnndd annnywaayyys.
i really don't know what to write this time. its like i have a lack of that elusive hmm. what do you call that. oh yes. inspiration. i can't believe that i actually forgot that word for a moment. goes to show how my brain is not exactly functioning that well. if it were i wouldn't be even typing down stuff like this would i. or would i?
hahahahah. yay.
i'm sorry that you have to sit through this babble.
incoherence. is. overtaking. me.
seriously.
the authors must be some super smart people.
to be able to repeatedly make people laugh.
or maybe its just that i laugh easily.
dam.
and now my family must think i'm crazy.
Is it me, or is everyone on edge today? Like Arya-one moment she's angry, the next she's giving me a blessing!
No one will be comfortable until things return to normal.
Define normal.
lol define normal. HAHAHAHAHA.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uB-lXFfIvU&feature=watch_response
then again you might have already watched it before.
"But then, to top it off, I come over to China, wealthy and successful, and at first i feel sorry for my old roommate when i find out he's a poor locksmith's assistant and all his dreams have turned to ashes. See, Quan, I own the house you dreamed of - a couple of them, to be honest. Compared to me, you have nothing. But then i look at Ming and Shen and how they adore you, and I'm jealous. You're in jail, they're beating you up, and somehow I find myself wishing I had what you have. Compared to you, I'm the one who has nothing."
someone who seemingly has nothing.
someone who seems to have everything.
yet nothing is what it seems.
because even with nothing, someone knew he had everything.
and in what he thought was everything, the other found nothing.
Yes, he'd dreamed a hundred times of holding Ming's bloody body, but he'd always prayed it would not happen. Quan covered his face with his hands. He felt a small, strong grip on his arm.
"Are we not Zhu Yesu's also?" Ming asked. " Are we not his called and chosen? Why should we not walk the way he has chosen for you? Why should you be considered worthy and not us?"
It has always been this way. Whenever she weakened, he was strong for her. Whenever he weakened, she was strong for him.
"No. Always it was carefully covered. Mother bundled it up before doing outside. We do the same."
"But the words are smeared in many places," Ben said.
"It was not the rain that smeared the words."
"What do you mean?"
"China is my place of service. It is the battlefield where Li Quan has been dispatched as Yesu's soldier. But this is not my home. Heaven is my home, my true country. I know that now. But it was a hard lesson to learn."
temporary home huh.
a battlefield.
i guess we have it easy.
hurray!
this is the third installment of the fye series!
and today, we shall explore a few questions which may or may not determine your fate.
1) what is the difference between a smiley face. and a sad face.
2) is it possible to break a 2 slippers within a year.
3) what is considered a few.
okay now that we've set the agenda for this episode,
lets begin with NUMBER ONE.
1) what is the difference between a smiley face. and a sad face.
okay so what exactly is the difference? one has a downward curve for a mouth. and the other an upward one.(no this is a different idea from the legendary Legend of the (tu) and (r))
so is the difference the feelings that cause the expression? maybe. feelings do cause lots of different expressions (maybe they actually do cause ALL expressions. maybe)
is it just the difference in the curving of the mouths? MAYBE(then again what makes a smiley curve happy. and a sadface one sad.)
no not really.
in FACT. it is all about the eyes. you see. the difference between :) and ):
you don't even have to change that curve.
its just where your eyes are.
its the eyes which are important. so whatever CURVE you're DOING WITH YOUR MOUTH. the smile has NOTHING to do with it. and EVERYTHING to do with your eyes.
so smile with your eyes, and it'll be contagious.
2) is it possible to break a 2 slippers within a year.
that is of course a very tricky question.
we have to separately analyze 1, the difficulty in breaking the slipper. and 2 the credibility of the time frame. but of course we shall ignore all of that. and TELL you. YES it is possible.
for example.
someone broke a pair of slippers in his first semester in uni. it broke somewhat quietly as the owner was sitting in a tutorial class trying to learn(okay. whether or not he succeeded there we shall not say). but it broke. and the owner walked back to hall barefoot(oh it was quite a long walk alright). and observed how people observed him(people usually scanned from the top down. and get a shock when they don't see footwear).
and within a year(we estimate it to be 365 days) this SAME someone. was making a trip back home after dinner. this time. the slipper gave way while he was walking. and yes. he yet again walked barefoot. but for only the 100 or so metres to his home. lucky him.
so yes. it has been proven that it IS in fact possible for such a feat of slipper breaking.
3) well. since i've led you around so much already. i'd just tell you the answer to this one.
THIS IS.
with that we shall end this episode on the discussion of a few questions that may or may not determine your fate.
(look out for the next installment. fye. once more.)
'One man stands inside prison and is free. Another man stands outside prison and remains in bondage. Is this not true, Ben Fielding?' -Quan to Ben Fielding
what is freedom? what is joy.
suddenly these words don't mean the same as they meant.
hm. its getting interesting.
and that we did.
in fact. we flew 2.
so we had actually gone away/gotten lost/left, twice.
yay (though i have to raise a point. i find it very funny that people who go away/getlost/leave all congregate at the same place.)
hello. and yes. i'm back with the next installment. isn't that wonderful(i know it is. you have to agree with me. say yes. SAY YES NOW. OR ELSE. okay good. ahhh. i knew we'd all agree eventually =))
so i was standing along with a bunch of my friends outside this restaurant. and there was this long queue out side it. not your usual snaky image of a queue. but more of a huge shifting mass of people. many people. waiting for their turn to wreak havoc on the food. okay. maybe i was part of this mass but that of course is already drifting away from our story here. so yes i stood there with my friends. and what would catch my eye but a FREE POSTCARD STAND. it stood nonchalantly in its little corner. feeling kind of left out by the fact that everyone was more interested in the restaurant. and so i took the 4 steps that brought me right infront of it. and then i looked at the postcards it was holding. for they were of many colours. some bright. others dull. but all of them had their own story to tell!
the starbucks postcard had a reddish tinge to it. it boasted a strawberries and cream frapp on its face. but no. the postcard is NOT all that it seems to be. for it was MORE than a postcard. beside the sweetly appetizing picture of the drink there were 2 lines that made it mean so much more. for any 2 frapps purchase. you get a third one free. and yes. it is true. this postcard has a double life. do not judge it because of that. for a free drink at starbucks is always welcome.
and then of course there was the colourful postcard. it sported the colours of the rainbow! but no it wasn't a rainbow. that was what drew me to picking it up. and picking up that particular card had another surprise to it. it contained the entire time schedule of the youth festival. interesting enough.
but not enough to hold my attention for i was quickly drawn to another card!. this one had a pair of jeans emblazoned across its face. but the point was not the jeans. it was how the jeans were shown. they were in an oddly weird shape. as if someone scrunched the jeans up and rolled it together. upon flipping the card, i found out it was meant to be something else altogether! it was in the shape of our liver. encouraging anyone who picked it up to. well. donate the liver!
of course there stood in the stand many different other postcards.
but the first three that caught my eye were another three. that of course belongs to another story.
i believe i've managed to waste a substantial amount of your time by typing that in.
as such. i shall now strive(hahahahaha striving) to waste yet another chunk of it.
if you will please follow me down this rabbit hole then.
ohh well. the rabbit is in.
we gotta go somewhere else.
on a side note. the dallas mavericks just beat the miami heat to put themselves in the leave 3-2 in the best of 7 series. GO MAVS(it is quite apparent that the team i support do not hail from miami)
and do check this video out. it is epic. hahaha
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story/_/id/927183/italian-keeper-left-red-faced-by-penalty-kick?cc=4716
that was hysterical. no seriously. LOL. and it stood. perfect example of don't count your chickens before they hatch. don't count on the ball to stay out when it hasn't stopped moving. premature celebrations by the keeper were prematurely cut as the ball bounced into the net.
why not we try this rabbit hole?
i wonder if the rabbit is in.
oh and now i'm on chapter 22 of your book. its pretty exciting so far. but i believe i have to go to sleep soon.
okay. enough with rabbit holes.
we'll go down them another day.
and if you read this before i replied your email, i'm still in the process of replying. if not. then ignore that sentence that goes and if you read this before i replied your email, i'm still in the process of replying.
and i shall be the irritating t-shirt that i am.
i still do not think that you are ugly when you make funny faces.
HAH.
-ted from himym
so it shall be that the post will be filled with nonsensical whatnots and idon'tknowwhatsgonnahappenbuti'lljustwrite stuffs.
and thus begins the journey. that will eventually end. but i have no idea when it will. as most of my nonsensical posts go. the journey will end abruptly. don't worry. it isn't ending yet. it still has some way to go. at least thats what i believe. but then again of course not everything will go according to what i believe. so maybe it might end here.
NOT.
LOL. so there was this friend of mine. who went on google to find. a method to tone her thighs. yes. now that might seem very absurd. and yes i too am perturbed. but that she did. and lo and behold. it came up with this. go ROLLERBLADING. wow. what awesomeness. and so she did. but at the end of the day. after blading and blading away. she found that her thighs did not feel any more defined. and so. i told her. the BIGGEST SECRET OF ALL TIME(for definition of thighs). yes. me. i told her. and you shall be privileged with this knowledge too(for you will now read what i said to her in the next line i write). i told her to use markers to define them.
moving on.
today i went to this huge complex maze. it wasn't really THAT huge. but it was that huge(yes the capitalization of the alphabets make a huge difference). and the thing about it was that it was not only huge. it was crowded(now THATS alot of people). okay. sort of. who needs a jungle to get lost in. when you have these complexes. plus the fact that jungles are so empty(of people). makes things all the more easier. yup. moral of the story is.
actually there isn't one. this isn't even a story.
annd. so we have come to the epic finale.
the legend of the turtle and the rainbow.
once upon a time. there lived a rainbow. he/she(how would i know what gender the rainbow is) was born on a sunny yet rainy sunday afternoon. he was named. rainbow(ohhh. how hard was it to guess). so rainbow took its place high up in the sky. making a sadface arc like all good rainbows do. and it wondered to itself why was it making a sad shape if it were a happy thing.
and from waaaaayyyy up high the rainbow spotted this tiniest littlest turtle swimming in the great blue sea. but this turtle was not swimming normally. it was doing a turtle backstroke(wherein the turtle is upside down. paddling on its back).
so rainbow asked the turtle. 'heyyyyy! why are you swimming so weirdly?'
and the turtle(aptly named turtle) replied 'well. its because you look like a smiley when i do!'
and rainbow was happy.
for the little while in which rainbow lived was a happy while.
and rainbow and turtle lived happily ever after(for a little while)
yes. so ends this epic finale.
and no i do not know what the moral of this story is either.
go google it.
or something.
goodbye.
i wonder how many mbfs i've earned for this.
'i used to think that family was a right. but it's not. it's a privilege and it has to be earned.'
-marshall from himym
'maybe this isn't a breakup. maybe this is just two friends getting back together'
-robin from himym
'the moment i began to love you was the moment when you saw your fiddle smashed on the ground, and you turned away from me and cried against your horse. Your sadness is one of the things that makes you beautiful to me. Don't you see that? I understand it. It makes my own sadness less frightening.'
-brigan from Fire
it was perfect.
but every year the building would sink a couple of inches into the ground.
eventually the building was condemned.
the architect forgot to account for the weight of the books.
-ted from himym
hmm was just thinking. how in the grand scheme of all things,
the detail that seems insignificant(and easily overlooked) might actually have a large part to play in everything.
no matter how grand that library looked on the outside,
there was something wrong on the inside.
in every direction they went.
some from me. some of me.
and some for me.
and yet at the end of it all.
the most important ones weren't asked.
the ones i had to ask myself.
He was quiet. He rubbed the back of his head. "It's hard to wake from a nightmare when the nightmare is real."
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.
- bob marley
swallow your anger,
or throw it in someone's face.
there's a third option.
you can just let it go.
-ted from himym
you can't help it.
it just happens.
-ted from himym
it'd be pretty devastating to find out it isn't true.
-barney from himym
not sad because of this and that and everything.
but because of you.
and this someone is not just anyone.
but someone very important to you.
what would you do?
i don't know about you.
but i'd try to make sure the sadness goes away.
and doesn't come back.
so let me give that a chance.
and think everything through again.
for nothing yet is set in stone.
this at least i can promise.
ps. don't go thinking too much about it. coz if you weren't worth it. i wouldn't even care actually.
i thought that it was alot about acceptance.
how powerful being able to accept others for what they are is.
how much people yearn to be accepted.
'can we skip the apologies. and go straight to the forgiving?'
saying sorry is the easy part. bringing yourself to forgive thats a whole other story.
then again. saying sorry isn't even easy in some situations.
forgiveness must be pretty rare. and hard to come by.
if someone says sorry to you. you know you mean something to them because they're trying.
if someone forgives you. you must be special to them.
at first it looked like just a drizzle from within the train.
but when thunder started rattling the glass panes at the library.
it wasn't funny anymore.
HAHAHA. okay in retrospect it was.
(oh c'mon. rattling glass panes! thats like right out of some horror book.)
epic storm(well at least by singapore proportions)
which i believe the sky has been saving up for the past few days.
it recently(at least from what i've observed) has a habit of doing this.
going SO HOT for like super long.
and letting it all out at once.
its like saving it up.
for one big one. lol.
well okay that aside(yes epic storm. that is ALL the space you're gonna get. i'm sorry. but you were just that epic. not THAT epic. okay maybe you've managed to squeeze out a few more lines. but yeah. thats it.)
today was a pretty boring day. other than the fact that i talked about so many different things and now have so many different thoughts it's half crazy. yes only half. the other is still sane, discerning and making all the less important decisions.
well. it pretty much always starts with a simple hi. and then it goes on and on and on. haha. which is pretty cool. its like it evolves as it grows. twisting past this and speeding past that. each line unraveling yet another story. yet another decision. yet another question. and every line holding some meaning to one or the other. each discussion seamlessly flowing into the next. punctuated here and there by breaks. things to do.
some of the things i already knew about. but its just the power of another voice to put those lessons in BOLD. a reminder of what i have learned. and to actually learn from the lesson. not just know the lesson. to see what is actually important. and what is not.
how acceptance is a necessary first step for change to actually happen, how it should actually work both ways. and how. maybe. love will come along to show you that change is overrated(sometimes).
love being a commitment and not a feeling.
how being imperfect is the thing that we excel in. its like how all of us only have one wing. and to take flight, we need to learn to complement each other.
yes today i got into this incessantly moving box.
along the way i met perception. and friendship. laughter. love. and maybe a little of someone's best friend. a little of someone else? and perhaps myself.
and for that i'm thankful.
for now i'm getting off.
but i'll be back soon.
for the maple leaf books are still in progress.
and there's still many pages to fill.
(is it vague? haha then again you already know everything. and this is just vague to everyone else. lol.)
there was silence.
no not that cool awkward silence of strangers.
this silence lingered in the air comfortably.
as if it in itself were a conversation.
one without words.
yet fully understood.
i keep finding myself in the same situations.
and the obvious finally said hi.
haha.
the obvious is the hardest to spot.
common sense is not that common.
well i realized.
if it keeps happening to me.
it has to be my fault.
i must be the one who keeps putting myself in such situations.
and like a friend said.
you are who you are. you can't change it(not that quickly anyway).
so i guess.
i'll always be here.
until the day it becomes too much.
and maybe then i'll break.
and change.
and i'll never come back again.
not to say the least.
the plan.
the execution.
the twist.
the eventuality.
shiveringly so.
one for sadness.
two for joy.
three for a wedding.
four for a child.
five for sickness.
six for death.
And it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable.
all those wars. pain. lies. hate.
made me want to turn away and never look down again.
but to see the way that mankind loves.
you could search the farthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.'
-yvaine from stardust
the walls go up higher.
i wonder when i can grow strong enough to bring them down.
away i walked.
away they walked.
away we walked.
thoughts far away.
yet intertwined.
ever further apart.
yet even closer.
and slide one back every time,
it may seem slow.
but still you're moving forward.
and at the end of the day,
you'll still be there.
if you stare at a bag of ice long enough.
you'll generate enough heat to melt it.
go ahead and try it if you don't believe me.
well. that aside.
typing away here again.
on yet another occasion. is it?
or is it not. maybe things weren't meant to be that way.
maybe they were.
who's to say what's to happen.
if it all ends before it begins.
then whats there to everything.
would anything matter anymore.
or would i fall before nothing.
fall into nothing.
fall and become nothing.
so maybe i'll take the chance.
to make something out of nothing.
and hopefully if it all comes down to nothing.
i would already have found a little something.
thats all there is to it isn't there.
yes i am warning you.
well. lost thinking about stuff. that seems to be how writing on the blog is. always thinking writing. penning down word which don't mean much. i really have no idea where i'm headed this time. its pretty much a very sad story again. i don't like sad stories. do you? maybe no one likes them. but they will appear. they will be experienced and they will no longer just be vivid imaginations. what was i to say. i never understood what was happening. its kind of saddening when you try. and then it does not work. not once. not twice. it goes on and on. like the carousel in sick cycle carousel. its one sick cycle. and we're not getting off it for awhile. wish i could though. wish. the one with the magical tinge to it. the special sounding one. and hope. the one that has a more it wouldn't happen feel to it. hopefully. i can get something done later. i think i might actually be feeling tired. but nothing ever happens. and i still try to study. why am i typing all this. why am i sitting here in the corner of the room. staring. i wanted to say 4 walls. but it isn't that. its this screen i am furiously typing away to. i wonder what has become. how can words that others say become so strong. its sad when friends can no longer be friends. and when it all begins to feel randomly distant. it only is awkward if you make it so. really? never knew that. maybe it has some truth to it. maybe. then again it might not and we would just be misled. this whole thing is just sweeping past for me. yet it doesn't seem to come out right with you. and it doesn't seem to want to resolve things. eventually everyone will move on. certain times you would have that nostalgic feeling about the past. this feeling. it can only come around when you've moved on. else it would not be called nostalgia. more of seriously sad. yes. so did i end up making any sense to you? i'm very well sure of the fact that i have not. might i hazard a guess. answering my own question. how very original. then again. the questions were meant to be stupid. ohwell. this verbal diarrhea has to come to a close sometime. well i was thinking why not now. really.
that it was never meant for me.
a thousand words.
or was it just one.
painting a hauntingly beautiful picture.
the streaks of tears made up of fears.
and all the time lost in between.
will we ever make it.
or will we never.
shall we just leave it up to fate?
and hope that its isn't too late
that it's never too late.
but i would like to sincerely, from the deepest depths of my heart,
express my utter and absolute dislike(i seem to love understating stuff) for mathematics.
and why is that so you may ask.
why?
well isn't mathematics simple? all it requires is just practice.
lots of practice.
see the flaw in that statement?
LOTS OF PRACTICE(i mean duh. but if you couldn't see it i do not blame you whatsoever. its alright. you just do not see it for the monster that i think it is).
which roughly equates(how ironic.) to lots of time spent on it.
and to what ends?
that too my friend is an extremely apt question.
I DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWER.
or else i would have a reason to be doing mathematics.
and it in itself would not seem such a UTTER waste of time and space(i swear mathematics ranks waaaaaay up there in terms of tree killing costs. its just nobody ever bothers to check. because maths is a must).
yes. which brings me to my point.
WHY. (i'm banking on the fact that you might actually have a clue. then again maybe i'm asking too much)
please do inform me if you do.
i shall be eternally grateful to you(how long is eternal man.)
thank you very much.
i hope(i can't say you will. you may have to encounter mathematics.)
you have a nice day.
we might even be each other's friend.
but it never ever stays that way.
people are people and eventually they sway.
and when it all comes down to this.
tell me. who will you really miss?
they sometimes say exactly how you feel.
but if people ask and you don't want to say.
you can just let them know its a song title.
nothing more.
nothing less.
i was talking to chongzhi that day. and we were discussing how blogging has lost its allure.
well not totally. it just lost its staying power.
i'm still tempted to start typing.
but my fingers don't stay on the keys for long.
not for long.
because the mind wanders far away.
things that were to be typed are left wanting.
nothing is ever what it seems.
i'm here speeding across the keys because i feel as if i need an outlet
stress? no not really. but i guess its just people like me.
we bottle stuff up.
it has to go somewhere.
else like the coke can we'll explode with the smallest crack.
its 5.13am.
it ain't even 3 am.
that was a little while ago.
maybe i should have gone to sleep awhile ago.
i guess i should have. yet i didn't
and here i am. once again typing away.
it hit me hard how this place no longer holds anything for me.
nothing to fight for.
nothing to protect.
so i've got no reason to stay.
but i shall. like an empty shell. carrying on with routines.
routines.
till one day.
maybe. one day something will come along that is worth protecting.
that is worth giving my all for.
thats when i'll finally live again.
emotions will finally make me again.
for now i shall wait.
bide my time.
and bit by bit. fill this pages up.
till the day my life finds me.
or i find my life. whichever comes first.
for better not worse.
like i said. was.
it no longer is. why? i wonder too. if only all of us knew the answers to all the whys that we want to ask.
then there would no longer exist such a word would there.
so for the sake of our humble little why.
we shall remain ignorant fools with scarce knowledge.
shall we not digress?
and it no longer is.
i'm slowly losing sense of what i'm typing.
the time's both early and late.
my eyelids are heavy.
yet sleep still manages to evade me.
wonder. ponder.
think.
maybe its gone too fast.
my little voice.
against time's own choice.
and when the veil is lifted.
with what will we be greeted.
i realized this.
sometimes its not about who you think is important to you.
but more about who thinks you're important to them.
those people
they should be the ones you're thinking of.
each and every step of the way.
as for the rest.
well.
just leave out all the rest.
-Jose Morinho
don't be afraid.
look up.
look up.
the stars will light your way.
would you just play the part.
or tell me its the start,
of something beautiful.
nearing the end of my first(yes very first one!) semester in university.
which unfortunately also means that a certain entity widely known as examinations
are also nearing.
unfortunately.
and i realized something has changed.
i've been studying(woah. okay this was not the change i was referring to).
and the thing is. the information seems to keep disappearing.
it doesn't stay where it is supposed to.
damn.
talk about bad timing.
hopefully something will change in the next few days.
hopefully.
or else.
i don't.
every single time i write here there is usually a reason.
not every time i'd tell you what it is.
unfortunately.
there there.
one day when all is said and done. you'd find out.
or maybe not.
but then again. what does it all matter.
this time i just might.
this is for a friend.
or is it for myself.
when it hurts just to watch.
the ghosts of the obscure past.
ethereally haunting.
misconstrued meanings.
dreams of scintillating sunlight.
darker than the darkest night.
a shadow of his former self.
a shell cracked. its insides shattered.
but time is always on the horizon.
as the tears carve into the stone.
we pick up the broken pieces.
and one by one we'll fix it together.
the tears will dry and no longer matter.
but never again will it be the same.
the scars to show in the lines of stone.
the wind in my hair
the constant gulps of intoxicating oxygen.
the rest of the world in the back of my mind.
awesome stuff for a change.
well i'm just writing this down for logging down an interesting thought.
no not mine. but an interesting one anyway.
its about inception. not exactly the movie. but the idea of it.
its like putting an idea in someones mind.
it just growwwwwws. subconsciously our minds will tend to this seed.
its like weeds in a garden.
they just don't ever go away.
nice.
funny how our minds react huh. our subconscious will always rule our conscious abilities.
like if someone was to tell you not to think of a pink cow.
there. it just popped right into your head.
to know how to not do something.
one you must first know what that something is.
or two you must not have a figment of the idea.
nice huh. our minds act too fast.
glhf everyone.
it was an experience.
it changed me.
i shan't say anymore
-clare, from 'the time traveller's wife' by audrey niffenegger
the headlines will probably have it as a shocker and all.
but it was not exactly one.
its funny how we got used to losing.
you know how some teams don't show for some games.
like they're just off form and what not.
i wonder if its possible for a team to have a no show for an entire season.
liverpool are close to doing one.
belief is only possible if you had something to attach it to.
past seasons we were sometimes on the wrong side of results
but most of the time the performance was there.
we played with spirit.
not so.
you'll never walk alone?
it is unfortunately/fortunately, about money(depending on your interests now you may like either so i shall abstain from choosing for you).
(go on. strike one option out)
so we stand before the notsofashionable entrance of the rabbit hole.
shall we go take a look? a little adventure maybe.
money.
i think money is really a funny thing(okay. maybe not literally laughably so).
it evolved(shells->metals->paper-> well a number on a screen) to something we can't live without.
yet most of the time(sometimes it makes things easier for you. but in turn someone else gets the problem) its just one big inconvenience.
for those who don't have it(i'm not saying i don't). well. they spend alot of their time looking for it (and by looking i mean working of course. not staring at the floor hoping to find some).
trying many means and ways(not all of them orthodox) to obtain it. inconveniencing themselves time and again(what were they thinking).
and its one big obstacle between them and the things they want or need. well. the price tag is.
for those who do(i'm not saying i do either). they spend alot of their time too. to protect it. inconveniencing themselves to. and many times the irony is that they give up money to protect money.
funny huh(i'm not saying that insurance is stupid, its just funny).
and well. they too spend most of their remainder time looking(again. not staring) for more of it.
this makes avarice appear innate. its like a natural instinct for greed and selfishness(this sounds foreboding. bear with me.). maybe it used to be useful when it was the survival of the fittest in the jungle(or yours might be more of the desert dwellers. or even caves). but right now. its just being another big inconvenience that we failed to evolve away. unfortunately the not selfish people didn't live long enough to tell the tale.
yup. so money is funny(maybe even abit on the comical side). see. it even rhymes. which makes it sound so much righter than it actually is(in actual fact. i've no idea why i just wrote that).
okay lets ignore the previous paragraph(i am contemplating deleting it) and get back to the point.
i wonder if we could ever delete money(like mouse left click drag and highlight all. hit the DEL button delete) and continue without it.
then again common sense would lead me to think that impossible(fortunately for me i don't have much of that elusive stuff so i shall wander around).
it would save(in my opinion at least) lots of administrative things(banks would disappear altogether! how cool is that.).
which would of course destroy many jobs and throw many into poverty and wreck the economy and blahblahblah(sounds pretty forlorn too).
so yup. we can't(i guess i do have abit more common sense than i thought. arriving at this conclusion without intending to).
i suspect that at this point you're getting pretty lost around the rabbit hole already(if you're still extremely clear on the way back out please do not hesitate to lead on).
so i shan't say much more.
lastly(yes i mean it.)
its a humble request.
please do come forward if you remember the way out.
please?
and so it seemed.
but the thoughts still follow.
i guess i know why i like to run.
away from everything.
just me myself and my music.
kinda.
but i guess they would be worse off.
how does an organization function if a huge chunk works on disincentives.
i guess thats why they have laws.
and then the rainbows will just be rainbows.
the cement mixers just like any other vehicle.
and you'll no longer be a boy.
you forget all this. and it just becomes all that.
and people who know more don't say so much about it.
and yes i'm just saying.
so i guess it says about me too.
yet its the small stars who are there every single night.
its only human i guess.
haha. thats from a book i read.
to look at the sky everyday than always wishing
that i had the time to.
i hope one day it'll all go away.
and wondered why it was so tall.
what an excuse for hypocrisy.
not getting involved in the game at all.
i know.
but i still don't know what to do about it.
i'll be floating around still.
for a little while.
as poor as each other they were.
but as different as two people could be.
you see, one was full of spite.
anger. hate. and all the icky things that you'd rather not be.
he detested his plight.
he wished he had everything in the world.
gold jewels silk and pearls.
he hated those who were well to do.
for what they had he wanted too.
the other man was vastly different.
he loved to see to laugh to listen.
thankful for the sun so bright.
hearing the sounds and seeing the sights.
happier than others richer than he.
he was content with what he could be.
by chance these two met one wintry night.
the first glared angry, and grumbled about dinner.
the second smiled happy, and was glad he had supper.
the first saw a well to do man walk by in the chill
the second saw a beggar who wanted a meal.
and so it was that first met second.
and second dropped a coin to the first.
'here, get some warm food if you must.'
and whistling, the second man walked past.
looking at the coin the first hated his state.
'those rich men never know how hard a living is to make.'
never did he guess
that the second man was only as rich as he.
nothing more. nothing less.
never forget.
never remember
always forget.
its funny how the first two mean the same
while the second pair don't exactly work out.
words are amusing.
craning to see what was over the counter at the soybean stall.
'errr...can i have...'
'1 Soyabean please. thanks'
a twenty-something guy just unceremoniously cuts her off.
and the innocent stall vendor hears only the impatient voice.
leaving the sister and brother to wait a little longer.
what a gracious society we have here.
living life a week at a time.
it wasn't little like the rest of the stars.
it was littler.
and it thought.
how nice would it be if i could become bigger?
so it stretched.
it pulled.
it tried and tried to make itself bigger.
but nothing ever happened.
it was still as little as before.
so it went to ask the moon.
and the moon didn't know.
it asked the star on its left.
and it did not help any.
finally the little star asked the sun.
and the sun happily replied.
"i'm a star too!"
that was when the little star finally realized
it was looking in all the wrong places
all it had to do was look a little closer to find out
that it was already the sun of its own sky.
the weeks seem to get worse.
i wonder when my body will give in.
disillusioned.
no it don't break even.
i'll get better.
with time.
stared out at the rain.
the wind was swirling the raindrops
the spray was cooling
and i just thought.
wouldn't it be nice if i didn't wear spectacles.
then i could enjoy the wind and the rain
and i wouldn't have to wipe my spectacles dry
like i'm doing now.
first the execution of a huge event.
then came the people.
and now this.
my life has been changed alr. from that one single incident.
and it was due utterly to my lapse.
its something i can never forgive myself for.
i hope that the punishment that will come will make me feel better.
shame and infamy will follow.
but it is only right.
or shld i say my boss.
its gonna be another hard 3 mths.
what kind of life is this.
no wonder no one wants to serve.
it still seems like a really long time.
saturday is d-day.
parade rehearsals.
thats my life now. just thought it would nice to
write something down here about it.
hurray.
=).
finally it'll come to a close.
and finally i can break free again.
all thats left is pac.
and maybe to get an experience of rcp.
(i found out water got to one of my maps. and its kinda. gone case)
yup.
i still don't like the place.
it sucks the life out of me.
i realized that with my time in ocs,
i've become more selfish.
more lazy.
less motivated to do stuff.
ironic isn't it.
the only good thing is that its about to end.
i'll probably miss the friends i've made.
but i most definitely wouldn't miss ocs.
yup.
its yet again been awhile.
hm. then new yr's coming.
christmas has already come. and is already going.
2008 went past pretty quickly.
i'll miss the odac xmas party.
hm. and i'm goig to thailand soon.
its just a huge void in my timeline.
i'm sorta trying to avoid the fact that i have to go there.
i know that eventually i'll get past it.
just ren. and chiong. it'll be over.
time will pass. theres no two ways about that.
its kinda fast.
brunei is gone. thailand looks improbable.
3 months till i'm at their stage.
i'll get there.
soon
thats a good thing. brunei is coming in a month's time.
i'm stuck in a new wing. the atmosphere here isn't all that good.
booking in has become a chore.
army life is getting really boring.
everyday i just look forward to going to sleep.
haha. thats all there is to me now.
man.
posts here have been few and far between.
but thats the life of an army boy.
life hasn't been much different.
ocs is getting to be senseless.
i keep finding myself asking why am i here.
why.
we do alot of stuff seemingly for the sake of just doing them.
so much so that numbness is setting in.
i live for the end of each day.
thats all.
the rest of the time is spent in acceptance of the fact that.
well.
i'm here and i have no choice.
its just a year and a half to go.
hang in there.
you'll make it out.
i know i will.
but what will i come out as.
nothing much to say about life now.
living each week for itself.
its not the life we chose. but we don't have a choice.
just keep going on.
we'll eventually fall out of this endless cycle.
we will.
trying to cram everything i want to do into 2 weeks.
which isn't possible.
bmt was fun. it really was.
made many new friends.
it was like school.
something that i'll nvr get to have again.
really miss school. its a place where you make friends.
you're protected.
you learn.
its safe and warm. unlike the world outside.
i guess.
it's like bmt of army life.
now that i'm out of bmt. well. i'm like in the REAL army.
which means its a freaking free for all.
haha.
but i guess it still isn't as scary as the world outside.
then again how would i know.
nvr been out there.
blah.
life doesn't wait.
got used to the tekong life.
i'm now an army boy.
field camp's over.
nothing much to write about.
just came around to take a little look.
maybe something would have changed in the time i was gone.
but everything is pretty much the same.
you know. the olc song.
'all our hardships and our sufferings will become our memories'
i sincerely believe that.
i think its coz of them that the friends i've made in the army will become quite close to me.
they've been through the shit with me.
haha. very much like odac.
sitting in the mud. wet and cold.
haha. been there.
done that.
anyways. army life makes you appreciate life out here so much more.
you miss everything that you usually do.
i think about you all the time.
but i don't need the same.
yay.
which means this blog will officially die today.
it was nice writing here.
i'll miss this place.
i think.
no idea why its here anyway.
and. as newpapers go. they're only good for sports news. so thats what i read.
and unfortunately. the main focus was on the reports of the last round of champions league matches. which featured. well. arsenal vs liverpool.
and there was this headline on the very first page.
Ref who denied Gunners penalty was Kuyt's neighbour(for non football people. Gunners = arsenal. Kuyt = liverpool player).
anyways. Kuyt pulled an arsenal player down in the penalty box which usually results in a penalty. however. the Ref decided on a corner instead which. simply put. pissed a whole lot of arsenal people off.
yes i know it was a controversial decision.
i mean. football is all about controversies and incidents. and this match was not unlike any other.
except for the fact that it was a HUGE match.
which just magnified those controversies.
unfortunately.
so now the paper is speculating that kuyt got a favour from the ref who was a neighbour from a nearby town.
what the hell.
haha. its just a perfect example of why the word 'ridiculous' had to be invented.
i mean. come on. if people actually do believe that i've got nothing to say.
blah.
anyways.
haha. you know what. i realized why i was wondering why some parts of koizora was familiar to me(this sentence has a weird structure). because i actually watched the m of heavenly days before. lol
haha. oh scroll down in the side bar to pause the mp3 player first before playing the video.
i just like the way the piano sounds at the start and end.
its just when army gets near. that you really start to find out about the stuff you'll miss.
i guess its just what makes us human.
and just what makes the phrase 'you should always cherish what you have' so very true.
its funny huh. these quotes always seem to come to mind at the times where you can't really do anything to change anything.
thats that i guess.
ohwells.
what to do. maybe one day i'll learn at last. that everyday should be cherished. just because its like clockwork and repetitive does not mean that i can forsake it. because its just like everything in life. even if i wanted desperately to. i could never go back to it.
haha. ohwells.
recently been listening to korean and japanese songs.
and i've been studying korean too. haha.
korean in my opinion is much easier than japanese or chinese.
haha but whatever.
go listen to heavenly days by aragaki yui.
its from the soundtrack of koizora.
its quite. sad.
i think its actually sadder than the movie. unfortunately.
haha. what a nice message. as of now. i am no longer wilson. i'm s8928316g.
lol. i'm a IC number! wonderful.
and MSG has become an entirely accepted word. its even used in official sms-es. though that sounds utterly oxymoronic to me. how can an SMS be official? lol.
anyways. yup 9th april.
i don't exactly refer to my job as work. well. mainly because it lasts just 3 hours every weekday. which is seriously pathetic. haha
army is coming in abit over 10 days time.
in january i was complaining that i wasn't in the army yet. that i wanted to be in there earlier. and then i told myself i would not feel the same if i were really going in. and unfortunately for me.
i was right.
haha. but i guess i'll just have to get on with it. slacking out here isn't too fun either. but you know its weird. when you thought you had lots of time you didn't have anything to do. but when you know you are running out of it. well. thats when you seem to find many many more things to do.
and then. you feel sian.
haha. cause you start to wonder why you didn't make use of your time fully.
you start to question yourself and your decisions.
blah. it isn't exactly fun. haha.
well. at least i can take solace in the fact that my next almost 2 years of life have already been more or less planned out for me.
that thinking about my future would not be required(that much. i'll panic when i do run out of time).
haha. speaking of my future.
i signed up for environmental engineering in both nus and ntu.
i wonder if i'll get in. haha. but i seriously doubt that i'll become anyone to have anything to do with what i've chosen to study.
so i wonder why i chose that.
haha. but decisions have to be made.
and so do mistakes.
its like pushing a button on a really strange machine full of knobs and flashing bulbs. you wouldn't know what would happen. you just take a step back an watch.
guess i'll be taking a step back then. and watch my life pan out from the decisions and mistakes i've made. hopefully the machine won't bite me.
ohwells.
haha. i just realize that in exactly two weeks time i'll be experiencing army life for the first time.
exciting sia.
haha.
but i think i kinda wasted my life in the past 3 months.
not because of the fact that i didn't go to work. but more of because i learnt little in the time.
i think i should have gone and taken up courses or something. learnt something new.
yup.
is that actually a tinge of regret?
haha.
everyone is chionging ard trying to fil up scholarship forms.
applying for this scholarship. and that scholarship.
for me. it isn't that complicated. i'm free from the need to constantly brainstorm about essays for a scholarship. well. mainly cause i'm not eligible for any. haha.
at least i won't stand a chance of getting them if i tried for them.
so i was thinking.
which course should i take in uni.(obviously because i have not applied for any course yet)
yes i know. i've been thinking about it for awhile. well. i thought that some thought had to be put into this. seeing that(according to my mum) my future lies in my decision. haha.
so i thought about what i wanted to be. how i wanted to live my life.
then i realized.
unlike many other people. i don't exactly have a dream. to be earning big bucks. to be some ceo somewhere. to be the best in something they do. i don't have aims and goals. like earning how much by when.
its like the glitz and glamour of the rich and famous. you see it.it draws everyones attention. i mean of course everyone will look up to the CEO of some huge corporation, the richest man in the world or some high achiever out there.
a nobody. not earning much. maybe running a small business. even working on a farm. live life slowly. away from the fast paced life of the city. enjoy the little things in life. he won't get to live in a huge mansion. but it'll be cosy. he won't get to have branded stuff around him. but something simple would work just as well. he won't get to drive a luxurious car. but walking may be enough. and a car might just go too fast for you to see many things.
the first kind of life. you'll fall in love with it immediately.
the second. will slowly fill up your heart bit by bit. without you even knowing it.
i think the second sort of life will suit me better. a born slacker can't keep up with too fast a pace of life. haha.
yup. well.
i actually think that my dream is to be a nobody.
funny huh.
haha.
maybe one day i'll become the nobody i want to be.
but then i still am able to find my stuffs.
when she actually does something about my messiness.
well. thats when i start losing my stuff.
haha. and thats precisely what happened to the letter NUS sent with the pin code.
so wonderful.
which just means that i have to head down to NUS tmr in order to get a replacement.
darn.
its kinda far i think.
buona vista isn't exactly a stone's throw away from toa payoh.
hm.
ohwells. what to do.
oh went to NUS open house that day. was thinking of what i wanted to study in university. well. aren't we all. unless of course we have already done the thinking some time ago. which obviously i haven't. and i've decided to follow what my parents say(in some part to appease them.) and take some science course. just so that i can get the paper. yup. the paper which comes with graduation from the uni. why science? not exactly because i'm EXTREMELY interested in it. but more of because its something i'm relatively better at. hence the choice.
hm. i realized that engineering requires physics. A level physics. even bioengineering and environmental engineering apparently. which means i have to take extra lessons on physics in my first year if i were to take engineering. rah. but i think i'm gonna try applying for those. i wonder if i'll get a place. my results aren't exactly what you call excellent. they're just passable.
blah.
let's see how everything unravels shall we.
maybe at the end of it all it wouldn't seem like that much afterall.
just give it a little try.
today was the day. but its over.
can't say i'm really happy abt my results. but i'm more like. erm. okay.
i sorta fell short.
but i guess my attitude makes it easier.
haha.
went to sch bball with the ct councillors and some odac juniors.
then we headed to thaipan for...lunch. but it was more of a scare yourself session. we were jumping over every message and phonecall received by anyoe on the table. well. because the results were abt to be released and the gd ones were on the board for all to see. and all would message some. which included us.
ahah.
anyways. some people were happy. some were sad.
but i guess it'll always be like this.
hope that the happy people stay happy. and the sad ones don't stay sad for long.
well had an okay post exam...gathering. wasn't much of a celebration.
hope chengwei gets better.(that thing he has to use is sick. seriously)
hope tmr will be a fun new day when the leeches and mosquitoes don't come out.
haha.
oh i reached home and got scolded by my dad. not for my results but for the fact that i said i might not want to go to uni afterall.
he said my attitude won't allow me to make it in society.
ouch.
haha.
let's see how my life unravels then.
means can play bball!
yeahhhh hahaha.
yah i know i'm kinda missing the point right here. but lol.
but anyways. i don't exactly feel particularly like i am supposed to feel.
you know. i'm not really nervous or anything at all(hopefully that'll kick in tmr).
and when i ask myself am i just being delusional. i know i'm not. lol. but then again.
if delusional people know that they ARE delusional. well then they probably wouldn't be deluded in the first place.
lol.
there is a very small part of me thats nagging and saying. erm like HELLO. tmr is results day.
you know. like RESULTS day. like its the day of reckoning.
but other than that.
i'm couldn't exactly care less. lol
oh. yah.
i'm supposed to wish EVERYONE. all the best.
may you get the results you want.
and go wherever you want to.
hm.
oh you know what. i seriously think that staying at home all day is BAD for you.
i'm learning to cook. i'm mopping the floor. learning to use the washing machine(yah. i just did)
and worse of all.
i'm watching korean dramas online.
lol.
i can totally imagine you ZOMG face right now. yes
yes. don't be too stunned.
haha.
staying at home turns me into my mum. that isn't really a particularly enticing thought.
haha.
oh heres a song from one ofthe series i watched.
its nice.
and yeah.
its korean.
yup.
next week results are out.
exciting huh.
haha. i bet lotsa people are worried about them. i think i wouldn't be human to say i'm not. but i'm not exactly worried. its just some nagging feeling at some secluded corner of my mind that. oh. the results are actually out next week.what you've mugged for. haha. other than that i'm pretty much unaffected. i wonder why. haha. its not like i'm too busy to think about it.
i just feel bored.
ohwells. that probably why i'm here.
i wanna learn something new.
but i dunno what i should learn. i can't learn most of the stuffs at the community centres coz they're like once a week or something. unless of course i take up like 5 courses at once. which would obviously cost a whole bunch. and a poor guy like me can't afford that when i'm earning like. erm. 15 bucks per day 5 days a week.i can't even support the insanely expensive ezlink costs. ahha. seriously. the hike from student fare to adult fare. is quite dramatic. and ouch.
haha. blahh. all i'm doing now is learning cooking from my mum. and becoming a servant at home! i mop and vacuum the floor. iron clothes. lol. and catch mosquitoes. those stuff are really irritating. they only attack in the dead of night. and they catch you when you're sleeping. rahh.
so everynight i have to be wrapped up in a blanket. its like a protective layer from the bites.
okay. tmr is sunday. and then yet another new week starts.
oh yah. kota is next weekend. muahaha. didn't go back last year coz of floods. but this year its not flooding anymore!(i still think the idea of it flooding on a MOUNTAIN is kinda absurd) so we get to climb it! yay. haha. hopefully it'll be fun. and i'll be fit enough to take it on. fitness is decaying. i haven't ran since the 42.195km. thats like super long ago. haha.
well anyhows.
hope everyone is doing well.
keep at it.
oh and by the way. the mosquitoes are back. i KNEW they weren't gone for good. for once i wanted to be wrong. usually you'd want to be right right? haha. why couldn't they just prove me wrong. ohwells. you know whats the problem with mosquitoes infesting my room. its when i sleep. they just have a feast on my defenseless legs. wonderful. and so now i have to slep with the blanket on. which just makes me super warm. and i have to turn on the fan to a higher speed. higher speeds equal more power usage. which leads eventually to global warming. so i propose to eradicate mosquitoes to reduce the effect of global warming(when they accept this proposal we would be living on mars). blah. tonight i shall do battle with them once again! to war!!!
hm oh yeah. cooking. so today i fried eggs. and i keep being reminded by everyone that everyone can fry eggs too. but i like eggs. i mean they're extremely versatile. haha. you can have hard boiled ones. soft boiled ones. sunny side ups. omelette with almost anything you can think of. yeah man. so give it a rest and stop criticizing my eggs. haha. hm.
well let me think. i've learnt to cook fish. chicken. soup. potatoes carrots. blah. and today i tried out corn. which is extremely difficult to chop into pieces of suitable sizes. with my mum's help we literally hammered the knife through the corn(yes i mean it. we used a hammer.) rah. cutting vegetables is more difficult then it seems. you know those cooking shows you watch. or IF you do actually watch them. they chop the vegetables so quickly my eyes can't follow. but if I tried to do that. well. let say it'll get pretty messy. so i do everything really slowly.
like really. even when i cook. due to spatial constraints of my frying pan. its. small. no other word for it. its too small to be a proper frying pan for dinner. i think my mother got it for the sole purpose of frying eggs. yup. so you can imagine how small it actually is. so the dishes that i manage to cook are usually different tasting on different portions of the food. haha. i'm forced by circumstances to cook in batches so every batch is unique. haha. i mean i'm not good enough to cook evenly for three different batches of fish. i'm new to this thing okay? i need some slack. haha.
and oil + water in a heated pan. = really painful stuff. haha. the spluttering superheated oil from the pan on my skin isn't exactly something to look forward to. but in almost every case where i have to fry vegetables it happens(coz vegetables are always wet...it gives them the fresh kinda look you know. haha). but a little bit of toothpaste and the pain is gone. pity that the bathroom is kinda situated away from the kitchen. and no prizes for guessing where my toothpaste just so happens to be in.
haha so yeah.
soon i shall be able to cook without my mother's help! i shall try to cook prawns sometime soon. haha. i think i'll make a huge mess out of them. but anyways it'll be fun. haha.
hopefully.
well gotta rush to telemarketing soon. the rules there are getting more rigid. rah. and my boss always appears in the office nowadays. darn.
i am currently still under siege by the mosquitoes.
but now i have a new weapon...muahahaha.
its an electrifying racket. lol. wicked sick. =). lol maybe today i shall unleash my secret weapon on those pesky blood suckers.
power overwhelming!!!
okay. liverpool redeemed themselves in the champions league. which is the only saving grace of an otherwise forlorn season. beating inter 2-0 is a mammoth achievement. given that they're the team with the best form in europe at the moment. yup. although it was at anfield. and inter WERE down to 10 men. but the possession by liverpool was quite dominant. hmm. so maybe they'll be able to reach the champion's league final again. but it would seem wishful thinking. maybe it'll work to our advantage. due to the absence of teams like BARNSLEY an HAVANT AND WATERLOOVILLE in the champions league, liverpool might actually proceed quite smoothly with as little scares as possible. only teams such as barca...man u...real...yah...those kinda teams in the competition. so i guess the problems won't be insurmountable. haha
well. have faith in anfield.
lets push for the quarter finals and then the semis. and introduce the resounding roar of you'll never walk alone to moscow.
hmm. haha. sounds pretty fairytale like to me. but i like it.
oh. today class went on a movie outing! minus the me who was working at hersing hub
this is how i go.
hello i'm calling from era property agency just like to know if you're interested in selling the house...oh no? okay thank you.
haha.
rah. wonder what movie the class watched. heard that it initially was juno. (juno's a great movie. shld go watch it. its funny. and amusing. but simple and nice.) but i have a feeling that some other movie(like jumper) had overtaken juno in popularity votes and thus juno would not have been watched. but i wonder. i'll find out soon.
quite glad that this small group of people still meet u quite often! hope that this continues. and lets have outings on weekends sometime(i know its expensive) so that the ns guys and ME can come =). lol. haha.
well. thats all for now. and i'm learning to cook from my mum! tmr is the day i shall cook fish! muahaha. cooking is until i find a job. or in case i don't find one. which is very probable.
hope life's been okay for you all.
see everyone soon.
the breadtalk lady is evil. she doesn't seem to want me to work there. thanks zara mok for the tipoff. lol. i'll treat you to a meal if i do get the job. that is if. well. this is what happened. last week i called breadtalk up and said hi to the person i was intro-ed to. she asked for my resume i sent it to her. then i got a call and she said further details will be given in a following call. that was thursday. today is kinda tuesday of a different week alr. man. talk about inefficiency. and i thought i was inefficient. lol.
RAH. i'm being assaulted mercilessly by a disgustingly skilled mosquito. it dodges my every swipe. and hides in the shadows. worst of all is that it keeps giving me slight glances by flying infront of the computer screen. and obviously i can't smash it against the screen coz yah well the screen is kinda like my computer. lol. darnnn. irritating little flying object.
i shall have faith in my ability to evetually rid myself of the pesky thing. i will. eventually.
i realized that i'm getting hungry already. i don't understand whats making me so hungry nowadays. its not like i spend alot of my time doing exercise or anything draining. unless of course slacking does sap you of lots of energy. which may be a very probable case. haha. i think i shall test it out. anyways. food beckons. and i of course. shall take my leave.
what the hell. if they lose to barnsley what the hell are their chances against ITLIAN CHAMPIONS intermilan? haha. blah. initially i was damn pissed at the retarded barnsley. i mean . UTTER DOMINATION by liverpool. and they lost the match. it was as if something was guarding the barnsley goal(other than the keeper who was playing the match of his entire life). but then i realized that its just how liverpool's season is. summed up in a single word. screwed. well. if they're out of the champions league in two weeks time. or it could be decided nxt week. then tata to liverpool. they'll be goners.
i realized that most home owners believe us telemarketers to be the scourge ofthe earth. they happen to think that we are present to test the limits of their endurance. yet actually we're just sad people behind phones making calls for the oh so sincere agents that pay us. yup. its not the agent who's actually calling you. i mean the person with the idea of calling you people is the agent. not the telemarketer(though without this idea telemarketers would not have a job). so it isn't the telemarketer's fault that you're irritated. i believe that all of us can have the basic courtesy to say no thank you. i'm not selling the house. or something like that. instead of a crude no. i'm busy. or worse. in some cases, a child picks the phone up. i ask may i speak to blahblahblah. then the child goes. mummy! someone from era wants to speak to you. and a moment later comes back and lets me know that his mum is not in.
lol. please. have the decency to at least cover up your lies. yucks.
haha
ohwells. the adventures of a telemarketer.
oh went out to play basketball with my cousins today. well. all i can say that i'm totally newbie at this. haha. noob. i can't play at their level at all. imba. they pass super fast. shoot super accurately. and run so much. full court play is not funny okay. haha. can run until seh one.
hmm. went visiting with odac yesterday! hmm thanks to yongsheng xinhui yuanli and lalaliang for letting us visit theirs places. and thanks to ys and xh for feeding the hungry people ofodac. haha. oh well yl and sl also contributed with lotsa goodies. haha. oh btw do you know that the singapore zoo has a branch at sengkang? haha. theres a huge rabbit hamsters turtle and a tortoise.
hahh.
ohwells. i've been sleeping really late the past few days. like 1+2. which means i'm quite tired right now. and liverpool have to play chelsea at 12.55am. wonderful. i wonder if i can stay up long enough to watch the match. i match which liverpool will probably get thumped in. due to the absence of a certain fernando torres. man. rahhhhhhhh. how come so unlucky. blah but thats soccer. and thats life.
haha. i've gotta find something which i can learn in order to fill up the days which i'm currently spending rather(this word is to make myself feel better. utterly would be a better substitute.) aimlessly. haha. i want to take up lessons! like yeohuihui is learning french. and dennis saw is learning muay thai. which sounds really cool but i don't think i'll go down that kinda line again. seeing that i dropped taekwondo quite quickly. hmm. then again it was due to a lack of time.
hmmm. i'm typing the post in bits. like type abit then leave the window by itself and go check something. then comeback and type abit more. haha. like i'm doing now. hmmm
i think i'll end here. like maybe next time then type summore. hmm. haha hope this is enough!
shake some life into those limbs! its time to be scrawled upon again!
hm. i wonder what do limbs of blogs look like. and how do i actually scrawl on something with a keyboard. the mysteries of life.
okay. my updates seem to be once a month. thats quite infrequent seeing that i am NOT in the army yet(fortunately or unfortunately. depending on who you are.) but hey. i've been out trying to find a job okay. thats quite hard work. although i've been at it for only about a week. coz previously i was udner the impression that as a camp instructor i had a good job. but apparently my parents(as do all parents) have the impression that a camp instructor has no future and i should try something more constructive like office work.
please. someone elucidate me. how constructive is office work? like duh its so totally brain wastage. you don't get to think much. most of the time you just sit there and copy and paste stuff. okay. maybe i haven't worked as one and i don't exactly understand the joy that people derive from working as admin. but i seriously think as a camp instructor. you get much more satisfaction from your job. and at the same time its even more fun!
well. currently i'm doing a night job that pays me five and hour and i work 3 hours a day. so essentially i'm not exactly earning enough to survive. haha. which kinda means i'm in serious need of a REAL day job. and unfortunately for me i guess i'll have to follow the orders of the authority and work as admin somewhere. but recruit express isn't exactly giving me any confidence in their ability to find me a job. haha. its been 4 days since i went there. no calls yet. wonderful.
hm. oh and the very first job that i did. well it was supposed to be belaying for a FIT camp at cdans(bukit gombak). which i did with dennis and jonathan. and they did get paid for it. but i did not. why? well i wondered too. so i msged the camp chief to enquire. turns out our job was not as belayers. it was as attachees to the instructors. and attachees are not supposed to receive pay. but some of us did according to our performance.
so i was so naively conned into working for something which i thought had a pay but did not.
ouch.
haha i hope the other camp chiefs do pay me.
else i would have been doing camps as a volunteer worker. or something like that. haha. passion. lol.
ohwells.
oh the army people look brownish and botak(duh). lol. hope you all are having fun inside. i'm not exactly having fun out here. haha. it really sounds dam fun in there. though it definitely isn't easy. hm. yupp. the weekend is coming. army ppl bookout again!
hmm. okay. i shall end here bah.
seeya soon blog. don't die so quickly.
yupp. i need to work. haha. my dad's been nagging.
you know.
nagging. its beyond comprehension how the topics can change during a nag. my nag sessions from my dad are usually like 15 minute talks where the topic changes from the initial "i want to see you working" to erm. something like "you should think more for others" wow.
haha i'm i'm still awed (sometimes...though i'm alr quite numb) at the ability of the nagger to change the topic and link everything to everything else.
haha.
hm. yeah. now i'm stuck in the process of thinking up a job. a job wich ican do and woould not bore me with good pay and everything(sounds pretty ideal). but ideal is never possible. haha. like ideally i would like to have all the money in the world. sunny days when i feel like it. rainy ones when i feel unlike sunny days. and everything would go my way. ideally.
haha. i just reread reader's digest. yes its the copy we got from the mcdelivery in malaysia(i've no idea why its in my bag but it is and i read it). theres one place where they teach you how to make decisions. they say its easier to make a choice when you don't look for the ideal situation(quite duh huh) and you're a satisficer. hmm. maybe i should learn from that in order to get me a job. haha. maybe.
hmm well enough of my life as a slacker who does not have a job.
i find it quite weird looking at all those students wearing those uniforms and thinking. i won't need to wear what they wear and go where they go anymore. no more school as in school with a class. hmm. the grass is greener on the other side. i guess it applies to school as well. when i first got into school. well the grass was pretty green. i found lotsa friends and had fun. then came the homework. exams. and all the stuff we hate schooling for. then i started to see that the grass i was on wasn't that green after all. i started to wonder if the grass on the other side was greener. and the more problems i got from the nonsense, the more the green faded. and the greener the grass on the other side got.
then i slowly neared the end of my schooling days. the grass suddenly seemed to get greener under my feet. and that on the other side didn't seem so appealing after all. eventually i got to the other side. and the grass back where i was seems greener than ever before.
haha.
i think i talk like a cow. so much green grass.
but yeah. its funny how we don't think much of stuff until they're about to come to and end. man. we're one bunch of weird people. or maybe i'm just one bunch of weird. haha.
hm. people are going into the army but i'm not(yet). how i wished i was going in. but like they tell me. when it gets nearer. i would be wishing that i wasn't going in so soon. we'll see. but i've a strong feeling they'll be proven absolutely right.
till next time.
the stupid thing about apple's mp3(at least to the blur. like me.) is that i can't upload the music to the computer. or download the music to it easily. coz EVERYTHING. everything has to be done via iTunes. which is kinda sian. it totally removes the convenience of dragging and dropping to your mp3 without having to add the song to your iTunes. whats more. only one mp3 can be sync-ed to one itunes at one time. hm. then again this is smart from apple' point of view. hmmmm. producer friendly goods huh.
blah. so now that my new com is empty of songs. and my shuffle can't load songs up. i do not have songs on my computer. which totally sucks.
yep.
oh went to meet the 7 yesterday.
haha the 7. we kinda shrunk in number though. haha. national treasure is good. yup. though the ending is predictable as i predicted. lol. that makes it predictable square. o0. i keep typing predictable as predicable. lol. something wrong with my fingers. and we left tham's house today. slept for an unnaturally long time for a stayover. almost 8 hours.
slacking and bumming around together.
hah.
i feel old. lol
and i realized its been a really long time since i last posted.
the A's have come and gone(like as if they were so fleeting...)
i've gone to bangkok and came back.
Ot has come and gone.
blahblahblah.
haha ot was funny.
the HOW MUCH era.
anything can be done.
but at a price. muaahaha.(ringgit only. terms and conditions apply)
lol. and yeah. thanks to everyone for helping make the ot a success. though the series of unfortunate events came along. but whats an ot without obstacles? must give us problems then got challenge what. haha. but yeah. it was fun. though i'm definitely sure that guys are not built for shopping. we're engineered differently from girls. they can shop walk and get high after one entire day. guys on the other hand. well we had to sit down and rest after 2 hours. haha. thats how large the disparity is.
oh . and btw. do not EVER. order mcdelivery in msia. after the guys narrowed down the possibilities. we've come to the conclusion that it is likeliest that the mcdelivery gave us our stomach problems. yup. and their mcflurry over there is sorta a milkshake. super liquid. lol
oh and the trip has hooked many people onto taxi riding. haha. coz its quite cheap there. haha. if you have 4 people. its cheaper then taking the train. which will almost never happen in singapore.
well.
this trip has taught me quite alot. especially how special this group of people are to me.
haha. sounds like i'm going all emo again.
but NOooooo. i shan't i shall save the emo-ness for the christmas gathering. maybe. haha.
but yup. it was really a great 2 years. too short in my opinion. but yeah. i didn't really get too emo during the graduation song thingy coz. well. i honestly didn't feel like it was goodbye.
we'll meet up often! and everything.
everyone will start to live their own lives. our paths will surely diverge.
but wheres the fun without obstacles? haha
see you people at ot10(and so on.)
haha.
alone we are nothing. together we are odac.
all our hardships and our sufferings. are our cherished memories.
the A's have descended upon us without us realizing it.
or maybe its just me.
haha
so gp is now just two letters with no meaning.(i tend to feel like it didn't really have much meaning to begin with)
maths is in two days.
i wonder how much i've done.
i know it isn't enough. but still. gotta go in there and try
luck is a skill. but it kinda favours the prepared.
haha.
sad to say i'm not in that state now.
ohwells.
the day of reckoning huh.
more like the month.
i wish i could run away.
from everything.
just me myself and the road.
but the rain pours.
and the thunder rips the sky.
so still i sit here.
running around in my own mind.
ticktick
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4:10 AM
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
today i tasted the paste that was not white.
nor black.
but in between.
no it was not the grey area.
(and you say until the hougang one so nice. i want to try it someday)
ticktick
#
3:33 AM
"I suppose we could just stand at the bottom and bellow his name until he answers," said Artus, appearing at the galley door holding a tray heavily laden with food. "At least, that's how I used to call the Green Knight when he left me at the bottom of the Wishing Well on Avalon."
"They really put you through it, didn't they?" said Charles.
"You have no idea," said Artus. "They claimed it was 'knightly training', but I think it was mostly to keep me out of the way when they didn't need any work done."
"Why do you call it a Wishing Well?" asked John. "Was is magic of some sort?"
"No," said Artus. "I just call it that because I spent most of my time in it wishing I as someplace else."
-Here There Be Dragons
hahahahahahahaahhaha!
ticktick
#
1:42 AM
Monday, June 20, 2011
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago
ticktick
#
1:33 PM
the little blue bird.
sat on its perch.
and tried fluttering its wings about.
wanting to fly.
but it didn't.
it couldn't.
it was stuck.
it wanted to be like the other birds!
free.
but it wasn't.
for this little bird was different.
it wasn't made of the same stuff as other birds.
wood was its wings. wood was its beak.
and its wings only moved when the wind came along.
ticktick
#
12:56 PM
Sunday, June 19, 2011
'I shall pass this way but once. Therefore, any good that I can do or any kindness that I can show, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again.'
ticktick
#
1:38 AM
Saturday, June 18, 2011
things to think about.
it is impossible for something to be both true and untrue.
it is always either. or.
so a half truth doesn't exist.
you either believe or you don't.
hm.
the problems WILL still be there.
but the attitude you have toward it is no longer the same.
say NO. when you have to. prioritize.
like.
say no to betting for popcorn.
ticktick
#
11:12 PM
well. what i wrote below was found sitting around as a draft.
apparently i had not posted it.
well then again it looks incomplete. and thats probably why.
but its going up anyway.
as a side note.
the blog has made its way past its 500th post.
yayyy.
-.-
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6S5caRGpK4
starring that guy from himym again.
warning! this is abit more crude than the other one.
so you might not like it.
FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT. once more.
maybe this post won't be as entertaining as the last few.
maybe it will.
you wouldn't know till you get to the end of this thing.
and between now and then i'll try my best to remind you.
of the fact that i AM a t-shirt.
and yes if you haven't noticed i have already started on that.
=)
awesome.
annnndd annnywaayyys.
i really don't know what to write this time. its like i have a lack of that elusive hmm. what do you call that. oh yes. inspiration. i can't believe that i actually forgot that word for a moment. goes to show how my brain is not exactly functioning that well. if it were i wouldn't be even typing down stuff like this would i. or would i?
hahahahah. yay.
i'm sorry that you have to sit through this babble.
incoherence. is. overtaking. me.
ticktick
#
3:47 AM
zits is awesomely funny.
seriously.
the authors must be some super smart people.
to be able to repeatedly make people laugh.
or maybe its just that i laugh easily.
dam.
and now my family must think i'm crazy.
ticktick
#
1:35 AM
Friday, June 17, 2011
With that she departed, slipping into the library's shadowed depths. Eragon blinked.
Is it me, or is everyone on edge today? Like Arya-one moment she's angry, the next she's giving me a blessing!
No one will be comfortable until things return to normal.
Define normal.
lol define normal. HAHAHAHAHA.
ticktick
#
12:06 PM
because sometimes logic alone cannot decide.
ticktick
#
3:45 AM
Thursday, June 16, 2011
"In house churches we have little to hope in but our God. In America, you have much to hope in besides God. None but he can bear the weight of your hope. But that is often forgotten. The test of prosperity is not easily passed."
ticktick
#
4:52 AM
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
hahaha. happened to come across this while i was youtubing(it is extremely hard to stop once you've started.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uB-lXFfIvU&feature=watch_response
then again you might have already watched it before.
ticktick
#
2:37 AM
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Ben thought about his poor unsuccessful roommate, whose professional dreams had been dashed, who made a hundredth of Ben's income and now sat in some godforsaken jail. What shocked Ben was the particular feeling he had toward Quan at this moment. He felt envy.
"But then, to top it off, I come over to China, wealthy and successful, and at first i feel sorry for my old roommate when i find out he's a poor locksmith's assistant and all his dreams have turned to ashes. See, Quan, I own the house you dreamed of - a couple of them, to be honest. Compared to me, you have nothing. But then i look at Ming and Shen and how they adore you, and I'm jealous. You're in jail, they're beating you up, and somehow I find myself wishing I had what you have. Compared to you, I'm the one who has nothing."
someone who seemingly has nothing.
someone who seems to have everything.
yet nothing is what it seems.
because even with nothing, someone knew he had everything.
and in what he thought was everything, the other found nothing.
ticktick
#
12:45 PM
"I've always thought i might end like my father and great-grandfather...but not you, not Shen."
Yes, he'd dreamed a hundred times of holding Ming's bloody body, but he'd always prayed it would not happen. Quan covered his face with his hands. He felt a small, strong grip on his arm.
"Are we not Zhu Yesu's also?" Ming asked. " Are we not his called and chosen? Why should we not walk the way he has chosen for you? Why should you be considered worthy and not us?"
It has always been this way. Whenever she weakened, he was strong for her. Whenever he weakened, she was strong for him.
ticktick
#
3:30 AM
Monday, June 13, 2011
Ben flipped through the pages. "It's been out in the rain."
"No. Always it was carefully covered. Mother bundled it up before doing outside. We do the same."
"But the words are smeared in many places," Ben said.
"It was not the rain that smeared the words."
ticktick
#
11:29 PM
"When i decided to leave Harvard, I told you China was my home, not America. I was only half right. I was right that America was not my home but wrong in thinking that China was."
"What do you mean?"
"China is my place of service. It is the battlefield where Li Quan has been dispatched as Yesu's soldier. But this is not my home. Heaven is my home, my true country. I know that now. But it was a hard lesson to learn."
temporary home huh.
a battlefield.
i guess we have it easy.
ticktick
#
12:55 PM
Sunday, June 12, 2011
for your entertainment. yet again.
hurray!
this is the third installment of the fye series!
and today, we shall explore a few questions which may or may not determine your fate.
1) what is the difference between a smiley face. and a sad face.
2) is it possible to break a 2 slippers within a year.
3) what is considered a few.
okay now that we've set the agenda for this episode,
lets begin with NUMBER ONE.
1) what is the difference between a smiley face. and a sad face.
okay so what exactly is the difference? one has a downward curve for a mouth. and the other an upward one.(no this is a different idea from the legendary Legend of the (tu) and (r))
so is the difference the feelings that cause the expression? maybe. feelings do cause lots of different expressions (maybe they actually do cause ALL expressions. maybe)
is it just the difference in the curving of the mouths? MAYBE(then again what makes a smiley curve happy. and a sadface one sad.)
no not really.
in FACT. it is all about the eyes. you see. the difference between :) and ):
you don't even have to change that curve.
its just where your eyes are.
its the eyes which are important. so whatever CURVE you're DOING WITH YOUR MOUTH. the smile has NOTHING to do with it. and EVERYTHING to do with your eyes.
so smile with your eyes, and it'll be contagious.
2) is it possible to break a 2 slippers within a year.
that is of course a very tricky question.
we have to separately analyze 1, the difficulty in breaking the slipper. and 2 the credibility of the time frame. but of course we shall ignore all of that. and TELL you. YES it is possible.
for example.
someone broke a pair of slippers in his first semester in uni. it broke somewhat quietly as the owner was sitting in a tutorial class trying to learn(okay. whether or not he succeeded there we shall not say). but it broke. and the owner walked back to hall barefoot(oh it was quite a long walk alright). and observed how people observed him(people usually scanned from the top down. and get a shock when they don't see footwear).
and within a year(we estimate it to be 365 days) this SAME someone. was making a trip back home after dinner. this time. the slipper gave way while he was walking. and yes. he yet again walked barefoot. but for only the 100 or so metres to his home. lucky him.
so yes. it has been proven that it IS in fact possible for such a feat of slipper breaking.
3) well. since i've led you around so much already. i'd just tell you the answer to this one.
THIS IS.
with that we shall end this episode on the discussion of a few questions that may or may not determine your fate.
(look out for the next installment. fye. once more.)
ticktick
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1:03 AM
Ben saw the string of blood on his finger, wiped it on his coat, then put it to his mouth. He stood there watching and listening and yearning. Hearing these prisoners singing, he felt for a moment he was in the presence of Joy itself, as if it was almost within his reach. Almost.
'One man stands inside prison and is free. Another man stands outside prison and remains in bondage. Is this not true, Ben Fielding?' -Quan to Ben Fielding
what is freedom? what is joy.
suddenly these words don't mean the same as they meant.
hm. its getting interesting.
ticktick
#
12:47 AM
go fly a kite
Definition from Wiktionary, the free dictionary
English Verb
English Verb
- (idiomatic) To go away; get lost; leave. (Typically imperative.)
- A guy came to my door selling some weird coupon subscription. I told him to go fly a kite.
and that we did.
in fact. we flew 2.
so we had actually gone away/gotten lost/left, twice.
yay (though i have to raise a point. i find it very funny that people who go away/getlost/leave all congregate at the same place.)
ticktick
#
12:36 AM
Saturday, June 11, 2011
FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT AGAIN.
hello. and yes. i'm back with the next installment. isn't that wonderful(i know it is. you have to agree with me. say yes. SAY YES NOW. OR ELSE. okay good. ahhh. i knew we'd all agree eventually =))
so i was standing along with a bunch of my friends outside this restaurant. and there was this long queue out side it. not your usual snaky image of a queue. but more of a huge shifting mass of people. many people. waiting for their turn to wreak havoc on the food. okay. maybe i was part of this mass but that of course is already drifting away from our story here. so yes i stood there with my friends. and what would catch my eye but a FREE POSTCARD STAND. it stood nonchalantly in its little corner. feeling kind of left out by the fact that everyone was more interested in the restaurant. and so i took the 4 steps that brought me right infront of it. and then i looked at the postcards it was holding. for they were of many colours. some bright. others dull. but all of them had their own story to tell!
the starbucks postcard had a reddish tinge to it. it boasted a strawberries and cream frapp on its face. but no. the postcard is NOT all that it seems to be. for it was MORE than a postcard. beside the sweetly appetizing picture of the drink there were 2 lines that made it mean so much more. for any 2 frapps purchase. you get a third one free. and yes. it is true. this postcard has a double life. do not judge it because of that. for a free drink at starbucks is always welcome.
and then of course there was the colourful postcard. it sported the colours of the rainbow! but no it wasn't a rainbow. that was what drew me to picking it up. and picking up that particular card had another surprise to it. it contained the entire time schedule of the youth festival. interesting enough.
but not enough to hold my attention for i was quickly drawn to another card!. this one had a pair of jeans emblazoned across its face. but the point was not the jeans. it was how the jeans were shown. they were in an oddly weird shape. as if someone scrunched the jeans up and rolled it together. upon flipping the card, i found out it was meant to be something else altogether! it was in the shape of our liver. encouraging anyone who picked it up to. well. donate the liver!
of course there stood in the stand many different other postcards.
but the first three that caught my eye were another three. that of course belongs to another story.
i believe i've managed to waste a substantial amount of your time by typing that in.
as such. i shall now strive(hahahahaha striving) to waste yet another chunk of it.
if you will please follow me down this rabbit hole then.
ohh well. the rabbit is in.
we gotta go somewhere else.
on a side note. the dallas mavericks just beat the miami heat to put themselves in the leave 3-2 in the best of 7 series. GO MAVS(it is quite apparent that the team i support do not hail from miami)
and do check this video out. it is epic. hahaha
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story/_/id/927183/italian-keeper-left-red-faced-by-penalty-kick?cc=4716
that was hysterical. no seriously. LOL. and it stood. perfect example of don't count your chickens before they hatch. don't count on the ball to stay out when it hasn't stopped moving. premature celebrations by the keeper were prematurely cut as the ball bounced into the net.
why not we try this rabbit hole?
i wonder if the rabbit is in.
oh and now i'm on chapter 22 of your book. its pretty exciting so far. but i believe i have to go to sleep soon.
okay. enough with rabbit holes.
we'll go down them another day.
and if you read this before i replied your email, i'm still in the process of replying. if not. then ignore that sentence that goes and if you read this before i replied your email, i'm still in the process of replying.
and i shall be the irritating t-shirt that i am.
i still do not think that you are ugly when you make funny faces.
HAH.
ticktick
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2:50 AM
Friday, June 10, 2011
'When men know they cannot hope in a country, in a political belief, or in themselves, they become free to hope in God.' -Quan from Safely Home
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11:55 PM
"Dr. Martin Luther King said 'If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare composed poetry. He should sweep streets so well tht all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, Here lived a great street sweeper, who did his job well.'" -Quan from Safely Home
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11:44 PM
Thursday, June 09, 2011
shouldn't we hold out for the person who doesn't just tolerate our little quirks but actually likes them?
-ted from himym
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3:46 PM
FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT
so it shall be that the post will be filled with nonsensical whatnots and idon'tknowwhatsgonnahappenbuti'lljustwrite stuffs.
and thus begins the journey. that will eventually end. but i have no idea when it will. as most of my nonsensical posts go. the journey will end abruptly. don't worry. it isn't ending yet. it still has some way to go. at least thats what i believe. but then again of course not everything will go according to what i believe. so maybe it might end here.
NOT.
LOL. so there was this friend of mine. who went on google to find. a method to tone her thighs. yes. now that might seem very absurd. and yes i too am perturbed. but that she did. and lo and behold. it came up with this. go ROLLERBLADING. wow. what awesomeness. and so she did. but at the end of the day. after blading and blading away. she found that her thighs did not feel any more defined. and so. i told her. the BIGGEST SECRET OF ALL TIME(for definition of thighs). yes. me. i told her. and you shall be privileged with this knowledge too(for you will now read what i said to her in the next line i write). i told her to use markers to define them.
moving on.
today i went to this huge complex maze. it wasn't really THAT huge. but it was that huge(yes the capitalization of the alphabets make a huge difference). and the thing about it was that it was not only huge. it was crowded(now THATS alot of people). okay. sort of. who needs a jungle to get lost in. when you have these complexes. plus the fact that jungles are so empty(of people). makes things all the more easier. yup. moral of the story is.
actually there isn't one. this isn't even a story.
annd. so we have come to the epic finale.
the legend of the turtle and the rainbow.
once upon a time. there lived a rainbow. he/she(how would i know what gender the rainbow is) was born on a sunny yet rainy sunday afternoon. he was named. rainbow(ohhh. how hard was it to guess). so rainbow took its place high up in the sky. making a sadface arc like all good rainbows do. and it wondered to itself why was it making a sad shape if it were a happy thing.
and from waaaaayyyy up high the rainbow spotted this tiniest littlest turtle swimming in the great blue sea. but this turtle was not swimming normally. it was doing a turtle backstroke(wherein the turtle is upside down. paddling on its back).
so rainbow asked the turtle. 'heyyyyy! why are you swimming so weirdly?'
and the turtle(aptly named turtle) replied 'well. its because you look like a smiley when i do!'
and rainbow was happy.
for the little while in which rainbow lived was a happy while.
and rainbow and turtle lived happily ever after(for a little while)
yes. so ends this epic finale.
and no i do not know what the moral of this story is either.
go google it.
or something.
goodbye.
i wonder how many mbfs i've earned for this.
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12:43 AM
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
just some of the stuff that caught my eye.
'i used to think that family was a right. but it's not. it's a privilege and it has to be earned.'
-marshall from himym
'maybe this isn't a breakup. maybe this is just two friends getting back together'
-robin from himym
'the moment i began to love you was the moment when you saw your fiddle smashed on the ground, and you turned away from me and cried against your horse. Your sadness is one of the things that makes you beautiful to me. Don't you see that? I understand it. It makes my own sadness less frightening.'
-brigan from Fire
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12:57 AM
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
there's this architecture story about this architect who designed a library.
it was perfect.
but every year the building would sink a couple of inches into the ground.
eventually the building was condemned.
the architect forgot to account for the weight of the books.
-ted from himym
hmm was just thinking. how in the grand scheme of all things,
the detail that seems insignificant(and easily overlooked) might actually have a large part to play in everything.
no matter how grand that library looked on the outside,
there was something wrong on the inside.
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6:48 PM
and today questions were asked.
in every direction they went.
some from me. some of me.
and some for me.
and yet at the end of it all.
the most important ones weren't asked.
the ones i had to ask myself.
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2:19 AM
"true," she said, "always. i've always had dreams of horrible things that are true."
He was quiet. He rubbed the back of his head. "It's hard to wake from a nightmare when the nightmare is real."
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2:15 AM
Monday, June 06, 2011
just a (not so little) something i saw on a random blog.
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.
- bob marley
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1:02 PM
Sunday, June 05, 2011
she stood and stared at the place where he'd just been. And tried to shake off the eerie sense that he had just answered something she'd thought rather than something she'd said.
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11:03 PM
you may think that your only choices are to
swallow your anger,
or throw it in someone's face.
there's a third option.
you can just let it go.
-ted from himym
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1:22 AM
Saturday, June 04, 2011
friendship is an involuntary reflex.
you can't help it.
it just happens.
-ted from himym
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1:46 PM
if you've lived your life thinking one thing,
it'd be pretty devastating to find out it isn't true.
-barney from himym
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1:45 PM
Friday, June 03, 2011
what do you do when someone is sad because of you.
not sad because of this and that and everything.
but because of you.
and this someone is not just anyone.
but someone very important to you.
what would you do?
i don't know about you.
but i'd try to make sure the sadness goes away.
and doesn't come back.
so let me give that a chance.
and think everything through again.
for nothing yet is set in stone.
this at least i can promise.
ps. don't go thinking too much about it. coz if you weren't worth it. i wouldn't even care actually.
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10:50 PM
this just a stop. on the way to where i'm going.
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10:50 AM
Thursday, June 02, 2011
it was interesting how the x-men movie turned out.
i thought that it was alot about acceptance.
how powerful being able to accept others for what they are is.
how much people yearn to be accepted.
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10:00 PM
from something i just happened to watch.
'can we skip the apologies. and go straight to the forgiving?'
saying sorry is the easy part. bringing yourself to forgive thats a whole other story.
then again. saying sorry isn't even easy in some situations.
forgiveness must be pretty rare. and hard to come by.
if someone says sorry to you. you know you mean something to them because they're trying.
if someone forgives you. you must be special to them.
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11:16 AM
today the sky went crazy.
at first it looked like just a drizzle from within the train.
but when thunder started rattling the glass panes at the library.
it wasn't funny anymore.
HAHAHA. okay in retrospect it was.
(oh c'mon. rattling glass panes! thats like right out of some horror book.)
epic storm(well at least by singapore proportions)
which i believe the sky has been saving up for the past few days.
it recently(at least from what i've observed) has a habit of doing this.
going SO HOT for like super long.
and letting it all out at once.
its like saving it up.
for one big one. lol.
well okay that aside(yes epic storm. that is ALL the space you're gonna get. i'm sorry. but you were just that epic. not THAT epic. okay maybe you've managed to squeeze out a few more lines. but yeah. thats it.)
today was a pretty boring day. other than the fact that i talked about so many different things and now have so many different thoughts it's half crazy. yes only half. the other is still sane, discerning and making all the less important decisions.
well. it pretty much always starts with a simple hi. and then it goes on and on and on. haha. which is pretty cool. its like it evolves as it grows. twisting past this and speeding past that. each line unraveling yet another story. yet another decision. yet another question. and every line holding some meaning to one or the other. each discussion seamlessly flowing into the next. punctuated here and there by breaks. things to do.
some of the things i already knew about. but its just the power of another voice to put those lessons in BOLD. a reminder of what i have learned. and to actually learn from the lesson. not just know the lesson. to see what is actually important. and what is not.
how acceptance is a necessary first step for change to actually happen, how it should actually work both ways. and how. maybe. love will come along to show you that change is overrated(sometimes).
love being a commitment and not a feeling.
how being imperfect is the thing that we excel in. its like how all of us only have one wing. and to take flight, we need to learn to complement each other.
yes today i got into this incessantly moving box.
along the way i met perception. and friendship. laughter. love. and maybe a little of someone's best friend. a little of someone else? and perhaps myself.
and for that i'm thankful.
for now i'm getting off.
but i'll be back soon.
for the maple leaf books are still in progress.
and there's still many pages to fill.
(is it vague? haha then again you already know everything. and this is just vague to everyone else. lol.)
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1:07 AM
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
so what do you define as liking someone?
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12:44 AM
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
BITE
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1:37 AM
at the end of all that was said.
there was silence.
no not that cool awkward silence of strangers.
this silence lingered in the air comfortably.
as if it in itself were a conversation.
one without words.
yet fully understood.
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12:06 AM
Saturday, May 28, 2011
you know something.
i keep finding myself in the same situations.
and the obvious finally said hi.
haha.
the obvious is the hardest to spot.
common sense is not that common.
well i realized.
if it keeps happening to me.
it has to be my fault.
i must be the one who keeps putting myself in such situations.
and like a friend said.
you are who you are. you can't change it(not that quickly anyway).
so i guess.
i'll always be here.
until the day it becomes too much.
and maybe then i'll break.
and change.
and i'll never come back again.
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2:00 PM
disturbing.
not to say the least.
the plan.
the execution.
the twist.
the eventuality.
shiveringly so.
one for sadness.
two for joy.
three for a wedding.
four for a child.
five for sickness.
six for death.
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1:03 AM
Thursday, May 26, 2011
'i know alot about love. i've seen it. centuries and centuries of it.
And it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable.
all those wars. pain. lies. hate.
made me want to turn away and never look down again.
but to see the way that mankind loves.
you could search the farthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.'
-yvaine from stardust
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12:34 AM
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.
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1:16 AM
Monday, May 23, 2011
each time.
the walls go up higher.
i wonder when i can grow strong enough to bring them down.
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9:19 PM
Saturday, May 21, 2011
quietly. silently. subtly.
away i walked.
away they walked.
away we walked.
thoughts far away.
yet intertwined.
ever further apart.
yet even closer.
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5:43 AM
Thursday, May 19, 2011
when you take 2 steps forward.
and slide one back every time,
it may seem slow.
but still you're moving forward.
and at the end of the day,
you'll still be there.
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3:05 AM
Monday, May 16, 2011
let me tell you a secret.
if you stare at a bag of ice long enough.
you'll generate enough heat to melt it.
go ahead and try it if you don't believe me.
well. that aside.
typing away here again.
on yet another occasion. is it?
or is it not. maybe things weren't meant to be that way.
maybe they were.
who's to say what's to happen.
if it all ends before it begins.
then whats there to everything.
would anything matter anymore.
or would i fall before nothing.
fall into nothing.
fall and become nothing.
so maybe i'll take the chance.
to make something out of nothing.
and hopefully if it all comes down to nothing.
i would already have found a little something.
thats all there is to it isn't there.
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9:34 PM
Friday, May 13, 2011
this is going to be one complete incoherent babble.
yes i am warning you.
well. lost thinking about stuff. that seems to be how writing on the blog is. always thinking writing. penning down word which don't mean much. i really have no idea where i'm headed this time. its pretty much a very sad story again. i don't like sad stories. do you? maybe no one likes them. but they will appear. they will be experienced and they will no longer just be vivid imaginations. what was i to say. i never understood what was happening. its kind of saddening when you try. and then it does not work. not once. not twice. it goes on and on. like the carousel in sick cycle carousel. its one sick cycle. and we're not getting off it for awhile. wish i could though. wish. the one with the magical tinge to it. the special sounding one. and hope. the one that has a more it wouldn't happen feel to it. hopefully. i can get something done later. i think i might actually be feeling tired. but nothing ever happens. and i still try to study. why am i typing all this. why am i sitting here in the corner of the room. staring. i wanted to say 4 walls. but it isn't that. its this screen i am furiously typing away to. i wonder what has become. how can words that others say become so strong. its sad when friends can no longer be friends. and when it all begins to feel randomly distant. it only is awkward if you make it so. really? never knew that. maybe it has some truth to it. maybe. then again it might not and we would just be misled. this whole thing is just sweeping past for me. yet it doesn't seem to come out right with you. and it doesn't seem to want to resolve things. eventually everyone will move on. certain times you would have that nostalgic feeling about the past. this feeling. it can only come around when you've moved on. else it would not be called nostalgia. more of seriously sad. yes. so did i end up making any sense to you? i'm very well sure of the fact that i have not. might i hazard a guess. answering my own question. how very original. then again. the questions were meant to be stupid. ohwell. this verbal diarrhea has to come to a close sometime. well i was thinking why not now. really.
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3:29 AM
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
so it was to be.
that it was never meant for me.
a thousand words.
or was it just one.
painting a hauntingly beautiful picture.
the streaks of tears made up of fears.
and all the time lost in between.
will we ever make it.
or will we never.
shall we just leave it up to fate?
and hope that its isn't too late
that it's never too late.
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2:54 AM
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
hi don't get me wrong(oh you have no idea how easy it is to)
but i would like to sincerely, from the deepest depths of my heart,
express my utter and absolute dislike(i seem to love understating stuff) for mathematics.
and why is that so you may ask.
why?
well isn't mathematics simple? all it requires is just practice.
lots of practice.
see the flaw in that statement?
LOTS OF PRACTICE(i mean duh. but if you couldn't see it i do not blame you whatsoever. its alright. you just do not see it for the monster that i think it is).
which roughly equates(how ironic.) to lots of time spent on it.
and to what ends?
that too my friend is an extremely apt question.
I DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWER.
or else i would have a reason to be doing mathematics.
and it in itself would not seem such a UTTER waste of time and space(i swear mathematics ranks waaaaaay up there in terms of tree killing costs. its just nobody ever bothers to check. because maths is a must).
yes. which brings me to my point.
WHY. (i'm banking on the fact that you might actually have a clue. then again maybe i'm asking too much)
please do inform me if you do.
i shall be eternally grateful to you(how long is eternal man.)
thank you very much.
i hope(i can't say you will. you may have to encounter mathematics.)
you have a nice day.
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12:59 AM
Friday, April 22, 2011
a box of random stuff from a faded period of time.
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4:59 PM
Saturday, April 09, 2011
if all was said and nothing pretend.
we might even be each other's friend.
but it never ever stays that way.
people are people and eventually they sway.
and when it all comes down to this.
tell me. who will you really miss?
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1:40 AM
Friday, April 08, 2011
you know whats good about quoting song titles?
they sometimes say exactly how you feel.
but if people ask and you don't want to say.
you can just let them know its a song title.
nothing more.
nothing less.
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11:17 AM
Saturday, March 19, 2011
and maybe that alone will be enough.
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9:13 PM
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
you know.
i was talking to chongzhi that day. and we were discussing how blogging has lost its allure.
well not totally. it just lost its staying power.
i'm still tempted to start typing.
but my fingers don't stay on the keys for long.
not for long.
because the mind wanders far away.
things that were to be typed are left wanting.
nothing is ever what it seems.
i'm here speeding across the keys because i feel as if i need an outlet
stress? no not really. but i guess its just people like me.
we bottle stuff up.
it has to go somewhere.
else like the coke can we'll explode with the smallest crack.
its 5.13am.
it ain't even 3 am.
that was a little while ago.
maybe i should have gone to sleep awhile ago.
i guess i should have. yet i didn't
and here i am. once again typing away.
it hit me hard how this place no longer holds anything for me.
nothing to fight for.
nothing to protect.
so i've got no reason to stay.
but i shall. like an empty shell. carrying on with routines.
routines.
till one day.
maybe. one day something will come along that is worth protecting.
that is worth giving my all for.
thats when i'll finally live again.
emotions will finally make me again.
for now i shall wait.
bide my time.
and bit by bit. fill this pages up.
till the day my life finds me.
or i find my life. whichever comes first.
for better not worse.
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5:10 AM
Friday, February 11, 2011
hi. this was a story of an emotional young kid.
like i said. was.
it no longer is. why? i wonder too. if only all of us knew the answers to all the whys that we want to ask.
then there would no longer exist such a word would there.
so for the sake of our humble little why.
we shall remain ignorant fools with scarce knowledge.
shall we not digress?
and it no longer is.
i'm slowly losing sense of what i'm typing.
the time's both early and late.
my eyelids are heavy.
yet sleep still manages to evade me.
wonder. ponder.
think.
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4:59 AM
Saturday, December 18, 2010
its the first sem past.
maybe its gone too fast.
my little voice.
against time's own choice.
and when the veil is lifted.
with what will we be greeted.
i realized this.
sometimes its not about who you think is important to you.
but more about who thinks you're important to them.
those people
they should be the ones you're thinking of.
each and every step of the way.
as for the rest.
well.
just leave out all the rest.
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1:35 PM
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
If we win, the following morning will be Tuesday, and if we lose, it will also be Tuesday.
-Jose Morinho
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12:27 PM
Saturday, December 11, 2010
when it gets dark.
don't be afraid.
look up.
look up.
the stars will light your way.
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12:45 PM
Thursday, November 25, 2010
if i give you my heart,
would you just play the part.
or tell me its the start,
of something beautiful.
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11:06 PM
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
and thus begins the beginning of the end of the beginning.
nearing the end of my first(yes very first one!) semester in university.
which unfortunately also means that a certain entity widely known as examinations
are also nearing.
unfortunately.
and i realized something has changed.
i've been studying(woah. okay this was not the change i was referring to).
and the thing is. the information seems to keep disappearing.
it doesn't stay where it is supposed to.
damn.
talk about bad timing.
hopefully something will change in the next few days.
hopefully.
or else.
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2:14 AM
Sunday, October 31, 2010
keep the ones who are important and leave out all the rest.
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1:49 AM
Saturday, October 23, 2010
you know what.
i don't.
every single time i write here there is usually a reason.
not every time i'd tell you what it is.
unfortunately.
there there.
one day when all is said and done. you'd find out.
or maybe not.
but then again. what does it all matter.
this time i just might.
this is for a friend.
or is it for myself.
when it hurts just to watch.
the ghosts of the obscure past.
ethereally haunting.
misconstrued meanings.
dreams of scintillating sunlight.
darker than the darkest night.
a shadow of his former self.
a shell cracked. its insides shattered.
but time is always on the horizon.
as the tears carve into the stone.
we pick up the broken pieces.
and one by one we'll fix it together.
the tears will dry and no longer matter.
but never again will it be the same.
the scars to show in the lines of stone.
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12:19 AM
Friday, October 22, 2010
its the hardest when you wanna cry but you gotta smile.
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3:48 AM
Sunday, October 03, 2010
the sound of footsteps hitting the road
the wind in my hair
the constant gulps of intoxicating oxygen.
the rest of the world in the back of my mind.
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9:39 PM
Friday, October 01, 2010
finally. not a trace of rain as i type.
awesome stuff for a change.
well i'm just writing this down for logging down an interesting thought.
no not mine. but an interesting one anyway.
its about inception. not exactly the movie. but the idea of it.
its like putting an idea in someones mind.
it just growwwwwws. subconsciously our minds will tend to this seed.
its like weeds in a garden.
they just don't ever go away.
nice.
funny how our minds react huh. our subconscious will always rule our conscious abilities.
like if someone was to tell you not to think of a pink cow.
there. it just popped right into your head.
to know how to not do something.
one you must first know what that something is.
or two you must not have a figment of the idea.
nice huh. our minds act too fast.
ticktick
#
5:09 PM
Monday, September 06, 2010
school has finally risen from the dead.
yeah. once again i can relish the awesome work(if you can't tell, i do not mean this at all. no not one single figment of it).
and i finally have my opportunity to do some homework(that which i have forsaken for all of recent memory.)
oh wait. you want to know why i'm back here typing away again?
guess what. its raining.
i guess when the sky pouring its heart out makes me want to do that too(yeah i don't believe this nonsense myself. how did i come up with this).
oh yes. another interesting fact.
i am currently residing in hall. in that faraway land of NTU. its almost as if it were another country altogether. insanity.
and no i do not have my room mate yet. no do not ask me why. it just happens to be so. maybe it'll stay that way(i wish). but things do not always go according to plan. wishes are called wishes because the bulk of them are not fufilled. thats why a wish has that magical element to it. that exhilaration when it actually gets fufilled is not something that comes by easy.
so yes. the whole gist of it is that i do not believe that it will stay this way.
unfortunately.
currently i am making myself extremely antisocial. its as if i'm living in this world of my own.
nice.
i wonder when i'll get sick of this.
incoherent typing is a trademark of my writing.
if you don't like it too bad =).
be back some day.
probably some rainy day.
rain rain go away.
ticktick
#
6:49 PM
Sunday, September 05, 2010
how removing your birthday information from facebooks benefits you.
1) it helps you differentiate between the people who KNOW when your birthday is. and those who just love to go on facebook.
2) it helps to weed out who STALKS you on facebook(to some extent). coz the people who post HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! on your wall are the ones who are 1), or they actually paid attention to your profile(for one reason or another).
3) it helps to eliminate excessive amounts of notifications.
=)
(on the downside, if you reallly love getting the manymanymany birthday wishes, you'll be thoroughly disappointed)
ticktick
#
1:19 AM
Friday, August 27, 2010
the sky is threatening to dump copious amounts of water.
and so instead of doing what i wanted. i'm here punching the keys and typing stuff down.
thats sufficient reason to get melancholic.
and theres the fact that its cold. and the people are trimming the grass, going WHHHRRRZZZZZZZBBZZZZZZZZBZZZZZZZZZZZ.
include the occasional rumble of the sky(its like baby thunder. in its infancy)
and you have an extremely unique way of spending the morning.
how pleasantly gloomy can it get.
ticktick
#
11:18 AM
Monday, August 02, 2010
school's about to come back into life.
glhf everyone.
ticktick
#
12:12 PM
Sunday, May 23, 2010
i miss all the little things.
i'd never thought that they'd mean everything to me.
ticktick
#
12:11 PM
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
so those 3 letters that meant so much have finally become reality.
it was an experience.
it changed me.
i shan't say anymore
ticktick
#
10:53 AM
Sunday, January 17, 2010
'but don't you think that it's better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?'
-clare, from 'the time traveller's wife' by audrey niffenegger
ticktick
#
10:50 PM
Thursday, January 14, 2010
and so liverpool lost again.
the headlines will probably have it as a shocker and all.
but it was not exactly one.
its funny how we got used to losing.
you know how some teams don't show for some games.
like they're just off form and what not.
i wonder if its possible for a team to have a no show for an entire season.
liverpool are close to doing one.
belief is only possible if you had something to attach it to.
past seasons we were sometimes on the wrong side of results
but most of the time the performance was there.
we played with spirit.
not so.
you'll never walk alone?
ticktick
#
6:25 AM
Monday, January 11, 2010
i started writing this to talk about a point that i was wondering about.
it is unfortunately/fortunately, about money(depending on your interests now you may like either so i shall abstain from choosing for you).
(go on. strike one option out)
so we stand before the notsofashionable entrance of the rabbit hole.
shall we go take a look? a little adventure maybe.
money.
i think money is really a funny thing(okay. maybe not literally laughably so).
it evolved(shells->metals->paper-> well a number on a screen) to something we can't live without.
yet most of the time(sometimes it makes things easier for you. but in turn someone else gets the problem) its just one big inconvenience.
for those who don't have it(i'm not saying i don't). well. they spend alot of their time looking for it (and by looking i mean working of course. not staring at the floor hoping to find some).
trying many means and ways(not all of them orthodox) to obtain it. inconveniencing themselves time and again(what were they thinking).
and its one big obstacle between them and the things they want or need. well. the price tag is.
for those who do(i'm not saying i do either). they spend alot of their time too. to protect it. inconveniencing themselves to. and many times the irony is that they give up money to protect money.
funny huh(i'm not saying that insurance is stupid, its just funny).
and well. they too spend most of their remainder time looking(again. not staring) for more of it.
this makes avarice appear innate. its like a natural instinct for greed and selfishness(this sounds foreboding. bear with me.). maybe it used to be useful when it was the survival of the fittest in the jungle(or yours might be more of the desert dwellers. or even caves). but right now. its just being another big inconvenience that we failed to evolve away. unfortunately the not selfish people didn't live long enough to tell the tale.
yup. so money is funny(maybe even abit on the comical side). see. it even rhymes. which makes it sound so much righter than it actually is(in actual fact. i've no idea why i just wrote that).
okay lets ignore the previous paragraph(i am contemplating deleting it) and get back to the point.
i wonder if we could ever delete money(like mouse left click drag and highlight all. hit the DEL button delete) and continue without it.
then again common sense would lead me to think that impossible(fortunately for me i don't have much of that elusive stuff so i shall wander around).
it would save(in my opinion at least) lots of administrative things(banks would disappear altogether! how cool is that.).
which would of course destroy many jobs and throw many into poverty and wreck the economy and blahblahblah(sounds pretty forlorn too).
so yup. we can't(i guess i do have abit more common sense than i thought. arriving at this conclusion without intending to).
i suspect that at this point you're getting pretty lost around the rabbit hole already(if you're still extremely clear on the way back out please do not hesitate to lead on).
so i shan't say much more.
lastly(yes i mean it.)
its a humble request.
please do come forward if you remember the way out.
please?
ticktick
#
8:05 PM
Saturday, January 09, 2010
it so seemed.
and so it seemed.
ticktick
#
1:10 AM
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
and the unwritten shall remain unwritten.
but the thoughts still follow.
ticktick
#
8:41 PM
Thursday, December 17, 2009
you know somethings wrong when you feel lifeless at home and you haven't ord-ed.
i guess i know why i like to run.
away from everything.
just me myself and my music.
ticktick
#
3:57 PM
Monday, December 14, 2009
don't get so caught up in remembering that you forget to live
ticktick
#
11:34 PM
Saturday, November 28, 2009
i wonder how my own Christmas carol would be like.
ticktick
#
8:41 PM
Sunday, November 15, 2009
i feel suffocated.
kinda.
but i guess they would be worse off.
how does an organization function if a huge chunk works on disincentives.
i guess thats why they have laws.
ticktick
#
8:57 PM
you see. one day you'll grow up.
and then the rainbows will just be rainbows.
the cement mixers just like any other vehicle.
and you'll no longer be a boy.
you forget all this. and it just becomes all that.
ticktick
#
8:50 PM
Monday, October 19, 2009
its funny how they say people who know less about something have more to say about it
and people who know more don't say so much about it.
and yes i'm just saying.
so i guess it says about me too.
ticktick
#
3:06 PM
Friday, October 16, 2009
the moon may be huge and bright and fill up alot of the sky.
yet its the small stars who are there every single night.
ticktick
#
10:48 PM
Saturday, October 10, 2009
its just hard for my mind to comprehend.
its only human i guess.
ticktick
#
6:43 PM
Saturday, October 03, 2009
the most inconvenient thing about being a fish is the inability to scratch
haha. thats from a book i read.
ticktick
#
3:00 PM
Sunday, September 27, 2009
i wish i knew that i actually do have the time
to look at the sky everyday than always wishing
that i had the time to.
ticktick
#
8:58 PM
Saturday, September 19, 2009
it'll nvr be the same again.
i hope one day it'll all go away.
ticktick
#
11:07 PM
Thursday, September 10, 2009
the smaller coke bottle looked at the large 7up bottle.
and wondered why it was so tall.
ticktick
#
12:14 AM
Saturday, September 05, 2009
professionalism.
what an excuse for hypocrisy.
ticktick
#
2:18 PM
Saturday, August 29, 2009
today is the day i got lost in ikea.
ticktick
#
11:59 PM
Sunday, August 23, 2009
i've standing by the sidelines.
not getting involved in the game at all.
i know.
but i still don't know what to do about it.
i'll be floating around still.
for a little while.
ticktick
#
7:15 PM
Friday, August 21, 2009
there once lived two poor men.
as poor as each other they were.
but as different as two people could be.
you see, one was full of spite.
anger. hate. and all the icky things that you'd rather not be.
he detested his plight.
he wished he had everything in the world.
gold jewels silk and pearls.
he hated those who were well to do.
for what they had he wanted too.
the other man was vastly different.
he loved to see to laugh to listen.
thankful for the sun so bright.
hearing the sounds and seeing the sights.
happier than others richer than he.
he was content with what he could be.
by chance these two met one wintry night.
the first glared angry, and grumbled about dinner.
the second smiled happy, and was glad he had supper.
the first saw a well to do man walk by in the chill
the second saw a beggar who wanted a meal.
and so it was that first met second.
and second dropped a coin to the first.
'here, get some warm food if you must.'
and whistling, the second man walked past.
looking at the coin the first hated his state.
'those rich men never know how hard a living is to make.'
never did he guess
that the second man was only as rich as he.
nothing more. nothing less.
ticktick
#
8:23 PM
Saturday, August 08, 2009
always remember
never forget.
never remember
always forget.
its funny how the first two mean the same
while the second pair don't exactly work out.
words are amusing.
ticktick
#
1:12 AM
and so the older sister took her brother's hand,
craning to see what was over the counter at the soybean stall.
'errr...can i have...'
'1 Soyabean please. thanks'
a twenty-something guy just unceremoniously cuts her off.
and the innocent stall vendor hears only the impatient voice.
leaving the sister and brother to wait a little longer.
what a gracious society we have here.
ticktick
#
1:00 AM
Monday, August 03, 2009
booking in again.
living life a week at a time.
ticktick
#
5:08 PM
once upon a time there was a little star.
it wasn't little like the rest of the stars.
it was littler.
and it thought.
how nice would it be if i could become bigger?
so it stretched.
it pulled.
it tried and tried to make itself bigger.
but nothing ever happened.
it was still as little as before.
so it went to ask the moon.
and the moon didn't know.
it asked the star on its left.
and it did not help any.
finally the little star asked the sun.
and the sun happily replied.
"i'm a star too!"
that was when the little star finally realized
it was looking in all the wrong places
all it had to do was look a little closer to find out
that it was already the sun of its own sky.
ticktick
#
4:32 PM
Sunday, August 02, 2009
i think we should all spend more time looking at the sky.
ticktick
#
9:59 AM
Monday, July 27, 2009
i was thinking that the life of a coin would make an interesting story.
ticktick
#
3:51 PM
Sunday, July 19, 2009
and so it is.
the weeks seem to get worse.
i wonder when my body will give in.
disillusioned.
no it don't break even.
ticktick
#
12:47 PM
Sunday, July 12, 2009
it hurts sometimes.
i'll get better.
with time.
ticktick
#
7:49 PM
Sunday, July 05, 2009
today i stood at my window
stared out at the rain.
the wind was swirling the raindrops
the spray was cooling
and i just thought.
wouldn't it be nice if i didn't wear spectacles.
then i could enjoy the wind and the rain
and i wouldn't have to wipe my spectacles dry
like i'm doing now.
ticktick
#
6:54 PM
Friday, June 26, 2009
its been the most trying 3 wks so far.
first the execution of a huge event.
then came the people.
and now this.
my life has been changed alr. from that one single incident.
and it was due utterly to my lapse.
its something i can never forgive myself for.
i hope that the punishment that will come will make me feel better.
shame and infamy will follow.
but it is only right.
ticktick
#
10:18 PM
Sunday, June 07, 2009
i absolutely abhor my work now.
or shld i say my boss.
its gonna be another hard 3 mths.
what kind of life is this.
no wonder no one wants to serve.
ticktick
#
12:05 PM
Friday, May 29, 2009
almost 3 months have been shaved off that long 10.
it still seems like a really long time.
ticktick
#
11:57 PM
Sunday, April 12, 2009
i wonder how long this 10 months will be.
ticktick
#
9:19 PM
Friday, April 03, 2009
i don't know what to say.
ticktick
#
10:24 PM
Sunday, March 15, 2009
its the last week of ocs.
saturday is d-day.
parade rehearsals.
thats my life now. just thought it would nice to
write something down here about it.
hurray.
=).
finally it'll come to a close.
and finally i can break free again.
ticktick
#
8:58 PM
Sunday, February 22, 2009
last week of pro term.
all thats left is pac.
and maybe to get an experience of rcp.
(i found out water got to one of my maps. and its kinda. gone case)
yup.
i still don't like the place.
it sucks the life out of me.
i realized that with my time in ocs,
i've become more selfish.
more lazy.
less motivated to do stuff.
ironic isn't it.
the only good thing is that its about to end.
i'll probably miss the friends i've made.
but i most definitely wouldn't miss ocs.
yup.
ticktick
#
2:48 PM
Thursday, December 25, 2008
hello.
its yet again been awhile.
hm. then new yr's coming.
christmas has already come. and is already going.
2008 went past pretty quickly.
i'll miss the odac xmas party.
hm. and i'm goig to thailand soon.
its just a huge void in my timeline.
i'm sorta trying to avoid the fact that i have to go there.
i know that eventually i'll get past it.
just ren. and chiong. it'll be over.
time will pass. theres no two ways about that.
ticktick
#
9:43 PM
Monday, December 08, 2008
hey. they're commissioning nxt week.
its kinda fast.
brunei is gone. thailand looks improbable.
3 months till i'm at their stage.
i'll get there.
soon
ticktick
#
11:01 AM
Sunday, October 12, 2008
hey. its already october.
thats a good thing. brunei is coming in a month's time.
i'm stuck in a new wing. the atmosphere here isn't all that good.
booking in has become a chore.
army life is getting really boring.
everyday i just look forward to going to sleep.
haha. thats all there is to me now.
man.
ticktick
#
6:48 PM
Sunday, August 24, 2008
hey. its been yet another while.
posts here have been few and far between.
but thats the life of an army boy.
life hasn't been much different.
ocs is getting to be senseless.
i keep finding myself asking why am i here.
why.
we do alot of stuff seemingly for the sake of just doing them.
so much so that numbness is setting in.
i live for the end of each day.
thats all.
the rest of the time is spent in acceptance of the fact that.
well.
i'm here and i have no choice.
its just a year and a half to go.
hang in there.
you'll make it out.
i know i will.
but what will i come out as.
ticktick
#
8:55 PM
Sunday, August 03, 2008
its been a long time.
nothing much to say about life now.
living each week for itself.
its not the life we chose. but we don't have a choice.
just keep going on.
we'll eventually fall out of this endless cycle.
we will.
ticktick
#
11:52 AM
Sunday, June 22, 2008
tmr is a new beginning.
ticktick
#
10:48 PM
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
i'm sorry i can't be perfect.
ticktick
#
11:13 PM
Sunday, June 15, 2008
pop-ed.
trying to cram everything i want to do into 2 weeks.
which isn't possible.
bmt was fun. it really was.
made many new friends.
it was like school.
something that i'll nvr get to have again.
really miss school. its a place where you make friends.
you're protected.
you learn.
its safe and warm. unlike the world outside.
i guess.
it's like bmt of army life.
now that i'm out of bmt. well. i'm like in the REAL army.
which means its a freaking free for all.
haha.
but i guess it still isn't as scary as the world outside.
then again how would i know.
nvr been out there.
blah.
life doesn't wait.
ticktick
#
10:17 PM
Saturday, May 17, 2008
been a pretty fun 5 weeks in bmt.
got used to the tekong life.
i'm now an army boy.
field camp's over.
nothing much to write about.
just came around to take a little look.
maybe something would have changed in the time i was gone.
but everything is pretty much the same.
you know. the olc song.
'all our hardships and our sufferings will become our memories'
i sincerely believe that.
i think its coz of them that the friends i've made in the army will become quite close to me.
they've been through the shit with me.
haha. very much like odac.
sitting in the mud. wet and cold.
haha. been there.
done that.
anyways. army life makes you appreciate life out here so much more.
you miss everything that you usually do.
i think about you all the time.
but i don't need the same.
ticktick
#
9:02 PM
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
hi. this is my last post before i go into the army.
yay.
which means this blog will officially die today.
it was nice writing here.
i'll miss this place.
i think.
ticktick
#
10:41 PM
Friday, April 04, 2008
hm. haha. just read the newpaper which i found lying around in my house.
no idea why its here anyway.
and. as newpapers go. they're only good for sports news. so thats what i read.
and unfortunately. the main focus was on the reports of the last round of champions league matches. which featured. well. arsenal vs liverpool.
and there was this headline on the very first page.
Ref who denied Gunners penalty was Kuyt's neighbour(for non football people. Gunners = arsenal. Kuyt = liverpool player).
anyways. Kuyt pulled an arsenal player down in the penalty box which usually results in a penalty. however. the Ref decided on a corner instead which. simply put. pissed a whole lot of arsenal people off.
yes i know it was a controversial decision.
i mean. football is all about controversies and incidents. and this match was not unlike any other.
except for the fact that it was a HUGE match.
which just magnified those controversies.
unfortunately.
so now the paper is speculating that kuyt got a favour from the ref who was a neighbour from a nearby town.
what the hell.
haha. its just a perfect example of why the word 'ridiculous' had to be invented.
i mean. come on. if people actually do believe that i've got nothing to say.
blah.
ticktick
#
4:57 PM
Thursday, April 03, 2008
rah. its raining crazily. i can't even see past the hdb block infront of me(no it doesn't take up my whole range of view. i know its opaque).
anyways.
haha. you know what. i realized why i was wondering why some parts of koizora was familiar to me(this sentence has a weird structure). because i actually watched the m of heavenly days before. lol
haha. oh scroll down in the side bar to pause the mp3 player first before playing the video.
i just like the way the piano sounds at the start and end.
ticktick
#
5:26 PM
last time i'll be watching champions league.
its just when army gets near. that you really start to find out about the stuff you'll miss.
i guess its just what makes us human.
and just what makes the phrase 'you should always cherish what you have' so very true.
its funny huh. these quotes always seem to come to mind at the times where you can't really do anything to change anything.
thats that i guess.
ohwells.
what to do. maybe one day i'll learn at last. that everyday should be cherished. just because its like clockwork and repetitive does not mean that i can forsake it. because its just like everything in life. even if i wanted desperately to. i could never go back to it.
haha. ohwells.
recently been listening to korean and japanese songs.
and i've been studying korean too. haha.
korean in my opinion is much easier than japanese or chinese.
haha but whatever.
go listen to heavenly days by aragaki yui.
its from the soundtrack of koizora.
its quite. sad.
i think its actually sadder than the movie. unfortunately.
ticktick
#
2:54 PM
Monday, March 31, 2008
S8928316G, your enlistment date is 09/04/08. Your reporting unit is TRAINING LIST BASIC MILITARY TRAINING CENTRE SCHOOL 2. Msg from CMPB.
haha. what a nice message. as of now. i am no longer wilson. i'm s8928316g.
lol. i'm a IC number! wonderful.
and MSG has become an entirely accepted word. its even used in official sms-es. though that sounds utterly oxymoronic to me. how can an SMS be official? lol.
anyways. yup 9th april.
ticktick
#
5:13 PM
Friday, March 28, 2008
last day of 'work' was today.
i don't exactly refer to my job as work. well. mainly because it lasts just 3 hours every weekday. which is seriously pathetic. haha
army is coming in abit over 10 days time.
in january i was complaining that i wasn't in the army yet. that i wanted to be in there earlier. and then i told myself i would not feel the same if i were really going in. and unfortunately for me.
i was right.
haha. but i guess i'll just have to get on with it. slacking out here isn't too fun either. but you know its weird. when you thought you had lots of time you didn't have anything to do. but when you know you are running out of it. well. thats when you seem to find many many more things to do.
and then. you feel sian.
haha. cause you start to wonder why you didn't make use of your time fully.
you start to question yourself and your decisions.
blah. it isn't exactly fun. haha.
well. at least i can take solace in the fact that my next almost 2 years of life have already been more or less planned out for me.
that thinking about my future would not be required(that much. i'll panic when i do run out of time).
haha. speaking of my future.
i signed up for environmental engineering in both nus and ntu.
i wonder if i'll get in. haha. but i seriously doubt that i'll become anyone to have anything to do with what i've chosen to study.
so i wonder why i chose that.
haha. but decisions have to be made.
and so do mistakes.
its like pushing a button on a really strange machine full of knobs and flashing bulbs. you wouldn't know what would happen. you just take a step back an watch.
guess i'll be taking a step back then. and watch my life pan out from the decisions and mistakes i've made. hopefully the machine won't bite me.
ticktick
#
11:58 PM
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
oh wow. i tried to change the mp3 player. but i think its not working. either that. or it takes forever to load.
ohwells.
haha. i just realize that in exactly two weeks time i'll be experiencing army life for the first time.
exciting sia.
haha.
but i think i kinda wasted my life in the past 3 months.
not because of the fact that i didn't go to work. but more of because i learnt little in the time.
i think i should have gone and taken up courses or something. learnt something new.
yup.
is that actually a tinge of regret?
haha.
ticktick
#
5:13 PM
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
hey. its posting time again.
everyone is chionging ard trying to fil up scholarship forms.
applying for this scholarship. and that scholarship.
for me. it isn't that complicated. i'm free from the need to constantly brainstorm about essays for a scholarship. well. mainly cause i'm not eligible for any. haha.
at least i won't stand a chance of getting them if i tried for them.
so i was thinking.
which course should i take in uni.(obviously because i have not applied for any course yet)
yes i know. i've been thinking about it for awhile. well. i thought that some thought had to be put into this. seeing that(according to my mum) my future lies in my decision. haha.
so i thought about what i wanted to be. how i wanted to live my life.
then i realized.
unlike many other people. i don't exactly have a dream. to be earning big bucks. to be some ceo somewhere. to be the best in something they do. i don't have aims and goals. like earning how much by when.
its like the glitz and glamour of the rich and famous. you see it.it draws everyones attention. i mean of course everyone will look up to the CEO of some huge corporation, the richest man in the world or some high achiever out there.
a nobody. not earning much. maybe running a small business. even working on a farm. live life slowly. away from the fast paced life of the city. enjoy the little things in life. he won't get to live in a huge mansion. but it'll be cosy. he won't get to have branded stuff around him. but something simple would work just as well. he won't get to drive a luxurious car. but walking may be enough. and a car might just go too fast for you to see many things.
the first kind of life. you'll fall in love with it immediately.
the second. will slowly fill up your heart bit by bit. without you even knowing it.
i think the second sort of life will suit me better. a born slacker can't keep up with too fast a pace of life. haha.
yup. well.
i actually think that my dream is to be a nobody.
funny huh.
haha.
maybe one day i'll become the nobody i want to be.
ticktick
#
10:49 PM
Sunday, March 16, 2008
hm. you know my mum always scolds me for being messy.
but then i still am able to find my stuffs.
when she actually does something about my messiness.
well. thats when i start losing my stuff.
haha. and thats precisely what happened to the letter NUS sent with the pin code.
so wonderful.
which just means that i have to head down to NUS tmr in order to get a replacement.
darn.
its kinda far i think.
buona vista isn't exactly a stone's throw away from toa payoh.
hm.
ohwells. what to do.
oh went to NUS open house that day. was thinking of what i wanted to study in university. well. aren't we all. unless of course we have already done the thinking some time ago. which obviously i haven't. and i've decided to follow what my parents say(in some part to appease them.) and take some science course. just so that i can get the paper. yup. the paper which comes with graduation from the uni. why science? not exactly because i'm EXTREMELY interested in it. but more of because its something i'm relatively better at. hence the choice.
hm. i realized that engineering requires physics. A level physics. even bioengineering and environmental engineering apparently. which means i have to take extra lessons on physics in my first year if i were to take engineering. rah. but i think i'm gonna try applying for those. i wonder if i'll get a place. my results aren't exactly what you call excellent. they're just passable.
blah.
let's see how everything unravels shall we.
maybe at the end of it all it wouldn't seem like that much afterall.
just give it a little try.
ticktick
#
11:40 PM
Saturday, March 08, 2008
hey.
today was the day. but its over.
can't say i'm really happy abt my results. but i'm more like. erm. okay.
i sorta fell short.
but i guess my attitude makes it easier.
haha.
went to sch bball with the ct councillors and some odac juniors.
then we headed to thaipan for...lunch. but it was more of a scare yourself session. we were jumping over every message and phonecall received by anyoe on the table. well. because the results were abt to be released and the gd ones were on the board for all to see. and all would message some. which included us.
ahah.
anyways. some people were happy. some were sad.
but i guess it'll always be like this.
hope that the happy people stay happy. and the sad ones don't stay sad for long.
well had an okay post exam...gathering. wasn't much of a celebration.
hope chengwei gets better.(that thing he has to use is sick. seriously)
hope tmr will be a fun new day when the leeches and mosquitoes don't come out.
haha.
oh i reached home and got scolded by my dad. not for my results but for the fact that i said i might not want to go to uni afterall.
he said my attitude won't allow me to make it in society.
ouch.
haha.
let's see how my life unravels then.
ticktick
#
12:39 AM
Thursday, March 06, 2008
yay tmr is results day!
means can play bball!
yeahhhh hahaha.
yah i know i'm kinda missing the point right here. but lol.
but anyways. i don't exactly feel particularly like i am supposed to feel.
you know. i'm not really nervous or anything at all(hopefully that'll kick in tmr).
and when i ask myself am i just being delusional. i know i'm not. lol. but then again.
if delusional people know that they ARE delusional. well then they probably wouldn't be deluded in the first place.
lol.
there is a very small part of me thats nagging and saying. erm like HELLO. tmr is results day.
you know. like RESULTS day. like its the day of reckoning.
but other than that.
i'm couldn't exactly care less. lol
oh. yah.
i'm supposed to wish EVERYONE. all the best.
may you get the results you want.
and go wherever you want to.
hm.
oh you know what. i seriously think that staying at home all day is BAD for you.
i'm learning to cook. i'm mopping the floor. learning to use the washing machine(yah. i just did)
and worse of all.
i'm watching korean dramas online.
lol.
i can totally imagine you ZOMG face right now. yes
yes. don't be too stunned.
haha.
staying at home turns me into my mum. that isn't really a particularly enticing thought.
haha.
oh heres a song from one ofthe series i watched.
its nice.
and yeah.
its korean.
ticktick
#
5:54 PM
Saturday, March 01, 2008
slacking = boring
yup.
next week results are out.
exciting huh.
haha. i bet lotsa people are worried about them. i think i wouldn't be human to say i'm not. but i'm not exactly worried. its just some nagging feeling at some secluded corner of my mind that. oh. the results are actually out next week.what you've mugged for. haha. other than that i'm pretty much unaffected. i wonder why. haha. its not like i'm too busy to think about it.
i just feel bored.
ohwells. that probably why i'm here.
i wanna learn something new.
but i dunno what i should learn. i can't learn most of the stuffs at the community centres coz they're like once a week or something. unless of course i take up like 5 courses at once. which would obviously cost a whole bunch. and a poor guy like me can't afford that when i'm earning like. erm. 15 bucks per day 5 days a week.i can't even support the insanely expensive ezlink costs. ahha. seriously. the hike from student fare to adult fare. is quite dramatic. and ouch.
haha. blahh. all i'm doing now is learning cooking from my mum. and becoming a servant at home! i mop and vacuum the floor. iron clothes. lol. and catch mosquitoes. those stuff are really irritating. they only attack in the dead of night. and they catch you when you're sleeping. rahh.
so everynight i have to be wrapped up in a blanket. its like a protective layer from the bites.
okay. tmr is sunday. and then yet another new week starts.
oh yah. kota is next weekend. muahaha. didn't go back last year coz of floods. but this year its not flooding anymore!(i still think the idea of it flooding on a MOUNTAIN is kinda absurd) so we get to climb it! yay. haha. hopefully it'll be fun. and i'll be fit enough to take it on. fitness is decaying. i haven't ran since the 42.195km. thats like super long ago. haha.
well anyhows.
hope everyone is doing well.
keep at it.
ticktick
#
10:05 PM
Monday, February 25, 2008
okay. i have decided to stay out of a job for good. =). my mother sorta helped convince me cause she's teaching me how to cook now! and i no longer have a reason to do nothing for the whole day. i have found my reason for existence. muahaha.
oh and by the way. the mosquitoes are back. i KNEW they weren't gone for good. for once i wanted to be wrong. usually you'd want to be right right? haha. why couldn't they just prove me wrong. ohwells. you know whats the problem with mosquitoes infesting my room. its when i sleep. they just have a feast on my defenseless legs. wonderful. and so now i have to slep with the blanket on. which just makes me super warm. and i have to turn on the fan to a higher speed. higher speeds equal more power usage. which leads eventually to global warming. so i propose to eradicate mosquitoes to reduce the effect of global warming(when they accept this proposal we would be living on mars). blah. tonight i shall do battle with them once again! to war!!!
hm oh yeah. cooking. so today i fried eggs. and i keep being reminded by everyone that everyone can fry eggs too. but i like eggs. i mean they're extremely versatile. haha. you can have hard boiled ones. soft boiled ones. sunny side ups. omelette with almost anything you can think of. yeah man. so give it a rest and stop criticizing my eggs. haha. hm.
well let me think. i've learnt to cook fish. chicken. soup. potatoes carrots. blah. and today i tried out corn. which is extremely difficult to chop into pieces of suitable sizes. with my mum's help we literally hammered the knife through the corn(yes i mean it. we used a hammer.) rah. cutting vegetables is more difficult then it seems. you know those cooking shows you watch. or IF you do actually watch them. they chop the vegetables so quickly my eyes can't follow. but if I tried to do that. well. let say it'll get pretty messy. so i do everything really slowly.
like really. even when i cook. due to spatial constraints of my frying pan. its. small. no other word for it. its too small to be a proper frying pan for dinner. i think my mother got it for the sole purpose of frying eggs. yup. so you can imagine how small it actually is. so the dishes that i manage to cook are usually different tasting on different portions of the food. haha. i'm forced by circumstances to cook in batches so every batch is unique. haha. i mean i'm not good enough to cook evenly for three different batches of fish. i'm new to this thing okay? i need some slack. haha.
and oil + water in a heated pan. = really painful stuff. haha. the spluttering superheated oil from the pan on my skin isn't exactly something to look forward to. but in almost every case where i have to fry vegetables it happens(coz vegetables are always wet...it gives them the fresh kinda look you know. haha). but a little bit of toothpaste and the pain is gone. pity that the bathroom is kinda situated away from the kitchen. and no prizes for guessing where my toothpaste just so happens to be in.
haha so yeah.
soon i shall be able to cook without my mother's help! i shall try to cook prawns sometime soon. haha. i think i'll make a huge mess out of them. but anyways it'll be fun. haha.
hopefully.
well gotta rush to telemarketing soon. the rules there are getting more rigid. rah. and my boss always appears in the office nowadays. darn.
ticktick
#
5:55 PM
Friday, February 22, 2008
hi. i am here to announce that i have prevailed. and the mosquitoes have been vanquished. =). lol with my super keen sight and battery powered racket. i totally owned them. yeah. now to enjoy my few days of mosquito free life.
ticktick
#
3:44 PM
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
RAH.
i am currently still under siege by the mosquitoes.
but now i have a new weapon...muahahaha.
its an electrifying racket. lol. wicked sick. =). lol maybe today i shall unleash my secret weapon on those pesky blood suckers.
power overwhelming!!!
okay. liverpool redeemed themselves in the champions league. which is the only saving grace of an otherwise forlorn season. beating inter 2-0 is a mammoth achievement. given that they're the team with the best form in europe at the moment. yup. although it was at anfield. and inter WERE down to 10 men. but the possession by liverpool was quite dominant. hmm. so maybe they'll be able to reach the champion's league final again. but it would seem wishful thinking. maybe it'll work to our advantage. due to the absence of teams like BARNSLEY an HAVANT AND WATERLOOVILLE in the champions league, liverpool might actually proceed quite smoothly with as little scares as possible. only teams such as barca...man u...real...yah...those kinda teams in the competition. so i guess the problems won't be insurmountable. haha
well. have faith in anfield.
lets push for the quarter finals and then the semis. and introduce the resounding roar of you'll never walk alone to moscow.
hmm. haha. sounds pretty fairytale like to me. but i like it.
oh. today class went on a movie outing! minus the me who was working at hersing hub
this is how i go.
hello i'm calling from era property agency just like to know if you're interested in selling the house...oh no? okay thank you.
haha.
rah. wonder what movie the class watched. heard that it initially was juno. (juno's a great movie. shld go watch it. its funny. and amusing. but simple and nice.) but i have a feeling that some other movie(like jumper) had overtaken juno in popularity votes and thus juno would not have been watched. but i wonder. i'll find out soon.
quite glad that this small group of people still meet u quite often! hope that this continues. and lets have outings on weekends sometime(i know its expensive) so that the ns guys and ME can come =). lol. haha.
well. thats all for now. and i'm learning to cook from my mum! tmr is the day i shall cook fish! muahaha. cooking is until i find a job. or in case i don't find one. which is very probable.
hope life's been okay for you all.
see everyone soon.
ticktick
#
10:33 PM
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
blahblah. its super late again. gotta learn to change my sleeping habits. just coz i don't have work unlike everyone else doesn't mean i shld be sleeping at insanely late times. or early. lol. you know late has gone really bad when it starts to get early.
the breadtalk lady is evil. she doesn't seem to want me to work there. thanks zara mok for the tipoff. lol. i'll treat you to a meal if i do get the job. that is if. well. this is what happened. last week i called breadtalk up and said hi to the person i was intro-ed to. she asked for my resume i sent it to her. then i got a call and she said further details will be given in a following call. that was thursday. today is kinda tuesday of a different week alr. man. talk about inefficiency. and i thought i was inefficient. lol.
RAH. i'm being assaulted mercilessly by a disgustingly skilled mosquito. it dodges my every swipe. and hides in the shadows. worst of all is that it keeps giving me slight glances by flying infront of the computer screen. and obviously i can't smash it against the screen coz yah well the screen is kinda like my computer. lol. darnnn. irritating little flying object.
i shall have faith in my ability to evetually rid myself of the pesky thing. i will. eventually.
i realized that i'm getting hungry already. i don't understand whats making me so hungry nowadays. its not like i spend alot of my time doing exercise or anything draining. unless of course slacking does sap you of lots of energy. which may be a very probable case. haha. i think i shall test it out. anyways. food beckons. and i of course. shall take my leave.
ticktick
#
1:19 AM
Sunday, February 17, 2008
damnit. guess what. liverpool just went and lost to barnsley. barnsley. man. barnsley.
what the hell. if they lose to barnsley what the hell are their chances against ITLIAN CHAMPIONS intermilan? haha. blah. initially i was damn pissed at the retarded barnsley. i mean . UTTER DOMINATION by liverpool. and they lost the match. it was as if something was guarding the barnsley goal(other than the keeper who was playing the match of his entire life). but then i realized that its just how liverpool's season is. summed up in a single word. screwed. well. if they're out of the champions league in two weeks time. or it could be decided nxt week. then tata to liverpool. they'll be goners.
ticktick
#
1:06 AM
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
hello. work as a telemarketer is boring and testing at times.
i realized that most home owners believe us telemarketers to be the scourge ofthe earth. they happen to think that we are present to test the limits of their endurance. yet actually we're just sad people behind phones making calls for the oh so sincere agents that pay us. yup. its not the agent who's actually calling you. i mean the person with the idea of calling you people is the agent. not the telemarketer(though without this idea telemarketers would not have a job). so it isn't the telemarketer's fault that you're irritated. i believe that all of us can have the basic courtesy to say no thank you. i'm not selling the house. or something like that. instead of a crude no. i'm busy. or worse. in some cases, a child picks the phone up. i ask may i speak to blahblahblah. then the child goes. mummy! someone from era wants to speak to you. and a moment later comes back and lets me know that his mum is not in.
lol. please. have the decency to at least cover up your lies. yucks.
haha
ohwells. the adventures of a telemarketer.
ticktick
#
11:17 PM
Sunday, February 10, 2008
hello happy chinese new year! haha. today is the last day of the chinese new year holiday. and its the lastday of eat and don't look back. hahahaha. which means tmr i have to start losing some weight. =) yeah.
oh went out to play basketball with my cousins today. well. all i can say that i'm totally newbie at this. haha. noob. i can't play at their level at all. imba. they pass super fast. shoot super accurately. and run so much. full court play is not funny okay. haha. can run until seh one.
hmm. went visiting with odac yesterday! hmm thanks to yongsheng xinhui yuanli and lalaliang for letting us visit theirs places. and thanks to ys and xh for feeding the hungry people ofodac. haha. oh well yl and sl also contributed with lotsa goodies. haha. oh btw do you know that the singapore zoo has a branch at sengkang? haha. theres a huge rabbit hamsters turtle and a tortoise.
hahh.
ohwells. i've been sleeping really late the past few days. like 1+2. which means i'm quite tired right now. and liverpool have to play chelsea at 12.55am. wonderful. i wonder if i can stay up long enough to watch the match. i match which liverpool will probably get thumped in. due to the absence of a certain fernando torres. man. rahhhhhhhh. how come so unlucky. blah but thats soccer. and thats life.
haha. i've gotta find something which i can learn in order to fill up the days which i'm currently spending rather(this word is to make myself feel better. utterly would be a better substitute.) aimlessly. haha. i want to take up lessons! like yeohuihui is learning french. and dennis saw is learning muay thai. which sounds really cool but i don't think i'll go down that kinda line again. seeing that i dropped taekwondo quite quickly. hmm. then again it was due to a lack of time.
hmmm. i'm typing the post in bits. like type abit then leave the window by itself and go check something. then comeback and type abit more. haha. like i'm doing now. hmmm
i think i'll end here. like maybe next time then type summore. hmm. haha hope this is enough!
ticktick
#
10:43 PM
Thursday, January 31, 2008
hello blog. you look pretty lifeless. what's gotten into you?
shake some life into those limbs! its time to be scrawled upon again!
hm. i wonder what do limbs of blogs look like. and how do i actually scrawl on something with a keyboard. the mysteries of life.
okay. my updates seem to be once a month. thats quite infrequent seeing that i am NOT in the army yet(fortunately or unfortunately. depending on who you are.) but hey. i've been out trying to find a job okay. thats quite hard work. although i've been at it for only about a week. coz previously i was udner the impression that as a camp instructor i had a good job. but apparently my parents(as do all parents) have the impression that a camp instructor has no future and i should try something more constructive like office work.
please. someone elucidate me. how constructive is office work? like duh its so totally brain wastage. you don't get to think much. most of the time you just sit there and copy and paste stuff. okay. maybe i haven't worked as one and i don't exactly understand the joy that people derive from working as admin. but i seriously think as a camp instructor. you get much more satisfaction from your job. and at the same time its even more fun!
well. currently i'm doing a night job that pays me five and hour and i work 3 hours a day. so essentially i'm not exactly earning enough to survive. haha. which kinda means i'm in serious need of a REAL day job. and unfortunately for me i guess i'll have to follow the orders of the authority and work as admin somewhere. but recruit express isn't exactly giving me any confidence in their ability to find me a job. haha. its been 4 days since i went there. no calls yet. wonderful.
hm. oh and the very first job that i did. well it was supposed to be belaying for a FIT camp at cdans(bukit gombak). which i did with dennis and jonathan. and they did get paid for it. but i did not. why? well i wondered too. so i msged the camp chief to enquire. turns out our job was not as belayers. it was as attachees to the instructors. and attachees are not supposed to receive pay. but some of us did according to our performance.
so i was so naively conned into working for something which i thought had a pay but did not.
ouch.
haha i hope the other camp chiefs do pay me.
else i would have been doing camps as a volunteer worker. or something like that. haha. passion. lol.
ohwells.
oh the army people look brownish and botak(duh). lol. hope you all are having fun inside. i'm not exactly having fun out here. haha. it really sounds dam fun in there. though it definitely isn't easy. hm. yupp. the weekend is coming. army ppl bookout again!
hmm. okay. i shall end here bah.
seeya soon blog. don't die so quickly.
ticktick
#
11:02 PM
Friday, January 04, 2008
sian. first post ofthe new year.
yupp. i need to work. haha. my dad's been nagging.
you know.
nagging. its beyond comprehension how the topics can change during a nag. my nag sessions from my dad are usually like 15 minute talks where the topic changes from the initial "i want to see you working" to erm. something like "you should think more for others" wow.
haha i'm i'm still awed (sometimes...though i'm alr quite numb) at the ability of the nagger to change the topic and link everything to everything else.
haha.
hm. yeah. now i'm stuck in the process of thinking up a job. a job wich ican do and woould not bore me with good pay and everything(sounds pretty ideal). but ideal is never possible. haha. like ideally i would like to have all the money in the world. sunny days when i feel like it. rainy ones when i feel unlike sunny days. and everything would go my way. ideally.
haha. i just reread reader's digest. yes its the copy we got from the mcdelivery in malaysia(i've no idea why its in my bag but it is and i read it). theres one place where they teach you how to make decisions. they say its easier to make a choice when you don't look for the ideal situation(quite duh huh) and you're a satisficer. hmm. maybe i should learn from that in order to get me a job. haha. maybe.
hmm well enough of my life as a slacker who does not have a job.
i find it quite weird looking at all those students wearing those uniforms and thinking. i won't need to wear what they wear and go where they go anymore. no more school as in school with a class. hmm. the grass is greener on the other side. i guess it applies to school as well. when i first got into school. well the grass was pretty green. i found lotsa friends and had fun. then came the homework. exams. and all the stuff we hate schooling for. then i started to see that the grass i was on wasn't that green after all. i started to wonder if the grass on the other side was greener. and the more problems i got from the nonsense, the more the green faded. and the greener the grass on the other side got.
then i slowly neared the end of my schooling days. the grass suddenly seemed to get greener under my feet. and that on the other side didn't seem so appealing after all. eventually i got to the other side. and the grass back where i was seems greener than ever before.
haha.
i think i talk like a cow. so much green grass.
but yeah. its funny how we don't think much of stuff until they're about to come to and end. man. we're one bunch of weird people. or maybe i'm just one bunch of weird. haha.
hm. people are going into the army but i'm not(yet). how i wished i was going in. but like they tell me. when it gets nearer. i would be wishing that i wasn't going in so soon. we'll see. but i've a strong feeling they'll be proven absolutely right.
till next time.
ticktick
#
8:45 PM
Saturday, December 22, 2007
lalalalalaa.
the stupid thing about apple's mp3(at least to the blur. like me.) is that i can't upload the music to the computer. or download the music to it easily. coz EVERYTHING. everything has to be done via iTunes. which is kinda sian. it totally removes the convenience of dragging and dropping to your mp3 without having to add the song to your iTunes. whats more. only one mp3 can be sync-ed to one itunes at one time. hm. then again this is smart from apple' point of view. hmmmm. producer friendly goods huh.
blah. so now that my new com is empty of songs. and my shuffle can't load songs up. i do not have songs on my computer. which totally sucks.
yep.
oh went to meet the 7 yesterday.
haha the 7. we kinda shrunk in number though. haha. national treasure is good. yup. though the ending is predictable as i predicted. lol. that makes it predictable square. o0. i keep typing predictable as predicable. lol. something wrong with my fingers. and we left tham's house today. slept for an unnaturally long time for a stayover. almost 8 hours.
slacking and bumming around together.
hah.
i feel old. lol
ticktick
#
8:37 PM
Thursday, December 20, 2007
booo. the hols are like almost over actually, i just realized. its like 20th december? so like in 2 weeks the year is already over.
and i realized its been a really long time since i last posted.
the A's have come and gone(like as if they were so fleeting...)
i've gone to bangkok and came back.
Ot has come and gone.
blahblahblah.
haha ot was funny.
the HOW MUCH era.
anything can be done.
but at a price. muaahaha.(ringgit only. terms and conditions apply)
lol. and yeah. thanks to everyone for helping make the ot a success. though the series of unfortunate events came along. but whats an ot without obstacles? must give us problems then got challenge what. haha. but yeah. it was fun. though i'm definitely sure that guys are not built for shopping. we're engineered differently from girls. they can shop walk and get high after one entire day. guys on the other hand. well we had to sit down and rest after 2 hours. haha. thats how large the disparity is.
oh . and btw. do not EVER. order mcdelivery in msia. after the guys narrowed down the possibilities. we've come to the conclusion that it is likeliest that the mcdelivery gave us our stomach problems. yup. and their mcflurry over there is sorta a milkshake. super liquid. lol
oh and the trip has hooked many people onto taxi riding. haha. coz its quite cheap there. haha. if you have 4 people. its cheaper then taking the train. which will almost never happen in singapore.
well.
this trip has taught me quite alot. especially how special this group of people are to me.
haha. sounds like i'm going all emo again.
but NOooooo. i shan't i shall save the emo-ness for the christmas gathering. maybe. haha.
but yup. it was really a great 2 years. too short in my opinion. but yeah. i didn't really get too emo during the graduation song thingy coz. well. i honestly didn't feel like it was goodbye.
we'll meet up often! and everything.
everyone will start to live their own lives. our paths will surely diverge.
but wheres the fun without obstacles? haha
see you people at ot10(and so on.)
haha.
alone we are nothing. together we are odac.
all our hardships and our sufferings. are our cherished memories.
ticktick
#
11:58 PM
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
hey.
the A's have descended upon us without us realizing it.
or maybe its just me.
haha
so gp is now just two letters with no meaning.(i tend to feel like it didn't really have much meaning to begin with)
maths is in two days.
i wonder how much i've done.
i know it isn't enough. but still. gotta go in there and try
luck is a skill. but it kinda favours the prepared.
haha.
sad to say i'm not in that state now.
ohwells.
the day of reckoning huh.
more like the month.
ticktick
#
11:37 PM
mE
Wilson
sajs(6-6)
chs2703 4x05
VJ 06s34
VJC ODAC
twentythird odac bloggie
22-08
FrenZ
06s34
teo Zy
Chong Zhi
jason
gNxY
qC
M 4 12 C
DaRrYL
bA0
veRrinE
YurA
XavIer
JaZ
wiLson ThaM
dennis
gedeon
Shaun
shi kai
sherman
bryan
alvin
OliVer
K S Y
ben tan
StAn
ZhiXiang
kityeng
puiyee
yongsheng
elise
jason hoon's fren(deb)
weiqin
huayshan
zhiheng
leech PAO
audrey
jiamin
Ki wong.
ZaraMok
elizabird
TAG~]]*
nnow playing
Wilson
sajs(6-6)
chs2703 4x05
VJ 06s34
VJC ODAC
twentythird odac bloggie
22-08
FrenZ
06s34
teo Zy
Chong Zhi
jason
gNxY
qC
M 4 12 C
DaRrYL
bA0
veRrinE
YurA
XavIer
JaZ
wiLson ThaM
dennis
gedeon
Shaun
shi kai
sherman
bryan
alvin
OliVer
K S Y
ben tan
StAn
ZhiXiang
kityeng
puiyee
yongsheng
elise
jason hoon's fren(deb)
weiqin
huayshan
zhiheng
leech PAO
audrey
jiamin
Ki wong.
ZaraMok
elizabird
TAG~]]*
nnow playing